All Things Brian

A Defense of Christopher Columbus

2011-10-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

A Defense of Christopher Columbus
by Patrick J. Ford

Published in his blog, The Northern Agrarian
October 13, 2008

As students of the George Washington University and many other schools around the country trudge off to class on this national holiday, there will be little, if any, discussion on the holiday being ignored. If there is any conversation, it will surely be to ensure that people understand why it should be ignored. Some even think ignorance should be replaced by activism against the holiday’s supposedly deplorable source.

If you don’t already know, today is Columbus Day. Although Christopher Columbus was heralded as a hero for hundreds of years after his voyage, modern multiculturalists have torn his name to shreds. Although the District of Columbia, Columbia University, Columbus, Ohio, Columbia, South Carolina, etc. are named after the man, these stand as nothing more than bloody reminders of the West’s imperialistic past to some. Indeed, in many ways the heritage of the western world’s exploration of the New World is irrevocably tied to Columbus and his journey.

And the story of Columbus is not without its historical falsities. For example, no serious thinkers at the time of Columbus’ departure believed the world to be flat. The most obvious misconception is that Columbus did not discover America, but the Americas, which were not even named so until after his death. The Vikings were on our continent long before Columbus set sail. But there have been other disputes as well. Some claim he was a “genocidal maniac” whose main legacy is wanton slaughter. Others see him as a religious fanatic with mass conversion in mind (as if that would make him a fanatic).

But the Christopher Columbus critic is a med-school specimen of insane multiculturalism, riven with the pathologies particular to that world-view. It triggers every multiculturalist cliche, from “White Man vs Dark Man” to “Christianity vs. Rich Indigenous Culture” to “Rich Imperialist vs. Poor Localist.” They also claim he brought slavery to the New World. This radical revisionism demands evaluation.

William J. Connell, a historian at Seton Hall University, has studied Columbus extensively and was featured in a New York Times article on the subject in 2000. Connell claims that, despite the shortcomings of Columbus’ actual landing spots, it is without doubt that Columbus brought glory to exploring the New World, and his popular voyage was seen as opening the proverbial floodgates to western exploration. His arrival marks ”where we as a country and as a hemisphere began our identity,” said Mr. Connell. “It’s a question of the contact that matters. There wasn’t a significant or important tradition that survived from the voyages of the Vikings.”

As for claims that Columbus brought slavery to the New World, they are radically mistaken. It is now believed that slavery existed amongst the tribes of the western hemisphere for centuries prior to the arrival of Columbus. In fact, Columbus’ views of slavery were rather benign and average for the time. Whereas many held slavery as a product of racial prejudice, Columbus’ concept of slavery was rooted in the Aristotelian concept that ”if a person is captured in war, they’re legitimately a slave,” Connell explains. “There was nothing racial about it.”

The Times article then addresses the claims of genocide:

Moreover, widely spread accounts that Columbus’s followers wiped out the Taino people of the Caribbean were inaccurate, says Jorge Estevez, himself of Taino lineage, who is a program coordinator at the National Museum of the American Indian in Manhattan. Mr. Estevez says that although many natives were murdered, fell victim to European diseases, or were taken captive, others intermingled with the Spanish settlers. And the settlers who were given Tainos as slaves were required to pay taxes on them, resulting in the undercounting of the Tainos as a form of tax evasion and leading to reports of their eradication.

In fact, most of the “devastation” caused by Columbus was accidental, caused primarily by the unintentional exposure of disease to natives.

These inaccurate criticisms are rooted primarily in Columbus’ status as a western and Catholic hero. His mission of conversion, though seen as deplorable by irreligious people, was without a doubt a mission of love undertaken with the salvation of a backward people in mind. Are we to believe that the indigenous faiths of the Americas, such as the Aztecs, were better and more peaceful than Christianity? If we are to teach children of the evils of Columbus’ conversion mission, shouldn’t we explain to them that in one day 20,000 Aztec slaves were slaughtered in a religious sacrifice?

We as a society have gone back and drawn a Snidely Whiplash mustache on Columbus’ luckless countenance. Formerly a hero, he is now a villain. As usual, the truth is somewhere in between the two. But if we as a society are to choose between Che Guevara and Christopher Columbus, the choice is easy. As Mr. Connell says, “‘Celebrate’ is a word we could use for Columbus’s genius, his persistence against the odds in getting people who were much more powerful than he was to back him in a risky enterprise that had results way beyond anyone’s imagination. We can celebrate his enterprise and ingenuity. A more appropriate word for what happened would be ‘commemorate.’”

I’ll commemorate the brave actions of Christopher Columbus. Will you?

On Repairing a Canon Camera

2011-10-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

This past spring, my Canon XL-1 got bumped off my office table and onto the carpeted floor below. I won’t be so cliche as to say my life flashed before my eyes, but there was a significant amount of horror in the situation.

A cursory examination said the camera managed to survive in fine condition. But my utopian hopes were shattered when I powered the camera up and found that the tape carriage would neither fully eject nor fully engage the tape inside – a tape which had valuable footage shot earlier that morning for a client.

So here I was with a camera that wouldn’t work, and a tape I could not access, and a complete lack of funds with which to send it off to the Canon repair facility. So over the course of the summer it sat on my shelf while I prayed for $400 to commence the camera’s rehabilitation.

One idea for funding the repair was not my first choice, but eventually I caved in and suggested it: Having the client pay $400 of her bill in advance. She agreed, and I promptly called Canon Repair – It has been a few years since either of my cameras has needed repairs (I recommend Canon products for longevity and durability).

Unfortunately, this avenue was shot down by the woman on the phone who informed me that Canon no longer repairs the XL-1 at all. I guess they figure everyone has moved on to the XL-2, if not to various high-definition models. Some of us don’t have that budget.

Through the magic of randomly commenting about life’s woes on Facebook, one of my uncles took up the challenge and offered to take a look at the camera, with the idea that at least he could probably get the tape out for my use while I debated about the fate of the XL-1 itself. But the fall the camera took was random yet precise enough to jam the tape carriage firmly into its out-of-place place.

My uncle was kind enough to ship the camera to a repair shop he trusts in Los Angeles that has the wherewithal to repair the XL-1 even though Canon does not anymore. They have assured him that in preparing their estimate, they will have to dismantle parts of the camera and will thus dislodge the tape for free. So for just the $40 for shipping my camera to my uncle, I will get the tape back and can proceed to edit the client’s project, putting the camera back on the shelf while I await wisdom regarding repairing or replacing it.

Ideally I’ll find a way to upgrade to a new camera, because this XL-1 is going to die eventually.

Simple Pleasures

2011-09-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my family celebrated my birthday. It was a small affair, because, let’s face it, one you hit your mid-thirties, very few people give two hoots about your birthday. In fact, the last time an adult is truly the center of attention is when he becomes a parent for the first time. After that, it’s all about the kids. Rotten kids, stealing all my spotlight.

So anyway, we did lunch at Applebee’s, taking advantage of their all-you-can-eat soup-and-salad deal for $7.99, which we discovered earlier this year as a great way to have lunch out without consuming vast amounts of grease. I don’t kid myself that their chili and their salad dressings are on a dietician’s list of most-desirable foods, but I’m fairly convinced it’s a better choice than a hamburger at Burger King.

After lunch, presents were forthcoming. My son Arthur generously gave me one of his own toys, a Curious George handheld pinball game. However, he still expects me to share. Arthur and Abigail together gave me a wooden brainteaser, one of those things where you have to get the wood block out of the interconnected blocks, and who knows but that there may be a metal ring down inside that I have to unlock before my mind simply implodes upon itself.

Veronica gave me Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on DVD, so the first three movies are no longer alone on my video shelf. An attending relative bestowed Subway gift cards upon me, and a little loving cash. Most of the cash will go straight to bills (or rather a single bill, or rather part of a single bill, but every little bit helps), though I am using a little of it as an actual birthday gift by placing an order for the How to Train Your Dragon soundtrack CD.

Birthdays are no longer about piles of presents, and a birthday cake, and tons of guests, and a seemingly endless day of attention. But I am a happy man with a wife and kids and a Subway gift card. And that is what matters.

The Front Entrance

2011-09-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

Greetings and welcome to All Things Brian!

I know why you’re here: You felt it, didn’t you? – That great cosmic ripple of energy as the matter in the universe aligned to celebrate my birthday. Number 37, to be precise. It was a grand and glorious September 29 in 1974, and it is a day that has never been equaled since. Well, it has been equaled every successive September 29 since then, but you know what I mean. It’s truly humbling.

So here you are, at the hub of my vast online presence, the Grand Central Terminal from which you can reach the various blogs, websites, and social networking pages that I have created and crafted over the past few years, turning myself into a jaw-dropping internet phenomenon. Please browse freely.

You can start right here, at the blog that is the cornerstone of my media personality, my great big journal of anything and everything that happens to be on my mind, with every entry being a golden nugget of inspiration. Then there are four other blogs at this time (though there is no knowing when a magnificent new brainchild from my fertile neurons will come forth) that I plan to pack so full of juicy tidbits that people won’t be able to stop reading them over and over, checking in daily for fascinating new pearls of wisdom.

Over on the right, you can scroll down to see a section labeled “Me, Me, Me!” (I’m not sure who hacked into my blog and made me look so pretentious, but it’s too late now.) As I write this, it contains links to my Facebook and YouTube pages, along with my listing in the Internet Movie Database, my business website that you are encouraged to refer to anyone in the Central Oregon region needing video production services, and links regarding my newfound interest in improving my health and figure. (There are those who insist my figure is beyond improvement, but they speak idle flattery, I’m sure.) Other links may come and go during the life of this blog – though if I add much more to the list of sites I personally maintain, I won’t have a life outside of the internet at all, which will disappoint the long line of admirers gathered outside my door even now.

On down the sidebar you’ll find links to sites where I am a contributor, as well as blogs and sites of good friends. Depending on your own religious or political positions, you may want to tread with care: Not all of my friends think like I do, the poor misguided fools that they are.

Then you’ll find a list of movies and books that people who want to be as wonderful as me should see and read, respectively. The movies are linked to their full information at IMDB, but there is, sadly, no book repository to link to the literary works.

Next are three options for making sure you don’t miss a single riveting word posted to this blog: You can “follow” this blog from your own Blogger account, or connect to the RSS feed. And if nothing else, you can browse back through the archived posts to relive your favorite moments, which will no doubt be too numerous to list. The sidebar concludes with an index of topics so that you can instantly see all the posts related to your favorite subject, which, I assume, will be all of them anyway so I’m not sure why I included that feature.

And there you have it. Start browsing. Soak it all in. And be sure to come back here often.

Because I’m just that central to your existence.

2011-08-30T13:09:00.001-07:00

I'm still here, I do still exist. But 2011 turned out to be a very busy year. The blogging hobby had to take a back seat. We'll see if I can rev it up again soon.

The Bible Thumper

2011-01-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

Have you stopped by the Bible study blog? Here’s a sample from the first entry:

***

The Bible is nothing less than the entire history of mankind told from God’s spiritual perspective. Other history books focus on man’s progress, the rise and fall of civilizations, countries and their governments, cultural advances, warfare and conquest. Though the Bible is historical and contains much useful information on the ancient Middle East, its ultimate focus is God and His workings.

While the sixty-six documents that comprise the Bible may often seem disparate in their subject matter, in reality they all contribute to one big picture. That picture is of God’s creating a dominion to rule over, Satan’s attempts to usurp God’s authority in that dominion and lead a rebellion, the on-going spiritual war between God’s subjects and Satan’s subjects, God’s final conquering and defeat of all opponents, and God’s handing of the universe over to His Son Jesus Christ as an inheritance.

A look at the organization of the Bible reveals two major sections, the Old Testament and the New Testament. Without spending pages explaining this, basically the Old Testament is the history of man’s fall away from God, and the New Testament is the record of God’s rescue of man. This is definitely a layman’s simplification, but my purpose here is simply to introduce the framework of the Bible so that my study in Genesis has a basic context.

The book of Genesis, then, is the beginning of the spiritual history of the universe. It is the first book of the Old Testament, and the first book of the Pentateuch, a grouping of five books that detail the early history of the Israeli people, the Jews. The book is assumed to be penned by Moses, though who exactly put the words on parchment can never be proven and ultimately doesn’t matter; the message came from God (II Timothy 3:16; Hebrews 1:1, 2) and He has preserved the message through history for us today. So let’s get into it.

***

For my own discipline in building regular habits, my goal is to have new entries every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Stop on by, read, discuss, enjoy.

Can You Pinch an Inch?

2011-01-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday I had my first bodyfat assessment with calipers. Branegan Dixon of Full Body Fitness did the unwelcome deed (I say “unwelcome” because as I am now I certainly would not want to be that close to myself with no shirt on; doctors and personal trainers are brave people).

I was under the impression that calipers would pinch more than they did. There was no pain at all – which was fine. After measuring up by my shoulder, at my mid-section, and on my thigh, Branegan took the figures to his computer where a program used those numbers to calculate my bodyfat, which came in at 24.5%. That’s not the highest reading I’ve ever gotten, but it’s definitely way too high.

I did get the experience on video, and it will soon be in an episode on my Fitness channel over at YouTube. Drop by and be grossed out.

Fruitcake Toss Day

2011-01-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

I was just recently informed that there is an annual holiday called Fruitcake Toss Day, and this year it falls on January 6th. A little online searching produced the following, from WetPaint.com:

Fruit cake is one of the national symbols of Christmas and the new year. People give the disgusting “treat” to their friends when they’re too cheap to buy them anything nice, and they cover the horrid gift with the excuse, “It’s traditional!” Fruit Cake Toss Day was started as a fun way to get rid of all of your stored-up fruit cakes after Christmas when no one’s dared to touch them.

Actual Date: Anytime in January, but usually within the first week.

Other Interesting Tid-bits: An actual Fruit Cake Toss game has been created. All you have to do is get together with a bunch of your friends in the snow, and see who can toss the fruit cake the furthest into the snow!

And now you know, too.

Stupid Calendar

2011-01-05T00:00:00.000-08:00

After getting my first “Stupidest Things Ever Said” Page-a-Day calendar several years ago, my wife got me another one this year. Here are the delightful entries that have been peeled off so far:

George W. Bush, interview on Fox News: “It’s very hard to write the future history of America before the current history hasn’t been fully written.”

Texas Representative Gib Lewis: “I can’t tell you how grateful I am – I am filled with humidity.”

Little boy on Kids Say the Darndest Things: “I came back from the bathroom one day at school. Suddenly I noticed that my zipper was undone and I said to myself, ‘I’m insulting my own inheritance.’”

The Snowball

2011-01-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

The second half of 2010 was quite stunning for me. It is the first time I have had such a lengthy and seemingly unconquerable to-do list for so long. Since June, my list of obligations to clients has grown slowly, with projects taking a little longer than expected so they overlap into the next project’s estimated time frame. Then there were the little responsibilities that added up to make that snowball bigger, like being the speaker at church every Sunday – truly good preparation for a sermon takes some time. Add to all this the unexpected things like broken faucets, car maintenance, and wood-stacking, and the snowball became deadly.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Or, more appropriately for this analogy, the temperature is rising and the snowball is starting to melt. Yesterday I mailed out a bunch of the Camp Northwest 2010 Senior Week DVDs, and today I will mail out all the rest if my calculations are correct.

After that it’s on to the Mosier/Johnson wedding DVD, and somewhere in here I need to get the DVD done for She Stoops to Conquer from last April. Ideally, sometime soon the whole snowball will be nothing but slush and I can take off my snowshoes, put on my comfy warm socks, curl up beside the Fireplace of Achievement with my mug of Satisfaction and take a breather before the next Cold Front of Obligations rolls in.

The Not-So-Grand Opening

2011-01-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

I had such plans.

This year is the first year of a new decade, and I was really hoping to launch all of my projects and goals promptly on January 1st. Just two days into the year and that idea has been thoroughly shot through the heart.

So now it’s a matter of getting things rolling anyway, which is a hard thing for me because I am very much what Freud would call a retentive person – if the unsubstantiated claims of a cocaine addict who tried to salve his own conscience by transferring his sexual frustrations upon all humanity can be believed. I have a tendency to start a resolution on the first day of the year, but have it quickly fizzle should I ever miss a day of performing that resolution.

Obviously I have to get over this because I have been making and breaking resolutions for two decades. I need to view resolutions as habits to form during the year, not habits to perform perfectly from Day One.

Anyway, it’s time to see which plans I can get going at full steam now, so I’ll see you later!

Resolutions 2011

2011-01-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

Yes, it’s that time of year. Or rather, one of two times in the year when I sit down and resolve to improve (or start) certain habits, achieve certain things, and otherwise generate a list of proposed accomplishments for the year ahead. New Year’s Day and my birthday are those two times, and my list of resolutions back on my 36th birthday in September fizzled almost immediately due to an immensely long to-do list of other priorities, so here I go again.

I have a three-page document detailing dates, time frames, and rules for each resolution, but here on this blog I will spare you. (Most of them will be self-explanatory anyway.) I also suffer from chronic organization, so in my hard copy of the document they are grouped and filed in certain ways, whereas here on this blog I’m just going to put them into two categories: Resolutions and Goals. I’m not even sure why I’m posting my resolutions at all, except perhaps for accountability, maybe encouragement for others.

Some are simply good habits I need to form or reinforce; some are goals based on past failings; some are just things I want to do. And of course, all of it is subject to the notion of: “If the Lord Wills.” If you’re curious about one of these and want to know more about what is meant or why it is on the list, drop me a note.

Resolutions:
1. Daily Bible Study
2. Daily Personal Prayer Time
3. Weekly Memory Verse
4. Daily Family Devotional Time
5. Weekly Father/Son Hour
6. Monthly Family Day
7. Weekly Dishwashing
8. Weekly Personal Laundry
9. Monthly Family Budget
10. Monthly Rent Payment
11. Weekly Hospitality
12. Monthly Sermon Preparation
13. Monthly Tithes and Offerings
14. Daily Letter-Writing
15. Daily Exercise
16. Trimesterly Short Film Production
17. Semesterly Screenplay Writing
18. Semesterly Music Composition

Goals:
1. Zero out all credit cards
2. File tax returns in a timely manner
3. Read 24 books
4. Create long-overdue music CD for a certain family
5. Organize a Scholastic Bowl for the home-school community
6. Organize a theatrical fairy tale for the home-school community
7. Cover one mile in 9 minutes
8. Bench-press 225 pounds for 3 sets of 10 reps
9. Perform one set of 10 pull-ups
10. Reduce bodyfat to 15%

And yes, it’s true: I have never been able to do a full set of pull-ups in my entire life. I haven’t even been able to do one pull-up since junior high school.

Alfalfa Futures

2010-10-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

Alfalfa Community Church had its annual business meeting yesterday. Six people were in attendance.

The actual number of people is not really an issue. What is disheartening is who was absent: Everyone who claims to have a deep and abiding interest in keeping the church going.

We are small, we have been shrinking for years as the local community has spurned us for the "bigger and better" churches in Bend, or for no church at all. As we search for a pastor, attendees have had their opinions about continuing on or declaring the ministry's mission fulfilled and closing it down. Some have left, looking for a church with "more." (I have my feelings on that, given what the book of Acts says a church is all about.)

But again, the ones who want to see the church continue, who really love and cling to the presence of Alfalfa Community Church, did not make room for the meeting on their calendars. I can't judge, for I don't know why everyone was absent, but yes, it is telling to me.

So we'll see what the near future holds. Attendance and offerings may give us our answer regarding staying open or closing.

Daddy Time

2010-10-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

I played Daddy for six hours yesterday with Abigail and Arthur. While Abigail had her times of personal play, she did want Daddy's attention for some of it as well. I can appreciate a little more now just how much time and energy it takes to be a full-time Mommy. There's a reason God designed the world so that it takes two people to create a child.

The Whirlwind

2010-10-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

I can't seem to catch up with my life right now. I have a dozen projects I owe people, plus rehearsals for dinner theaters at night, and in there I'm supposed to be a good husband and father as well as take care of our rental home so the landlord will continue to be merciful regarding the overdue rent.

Well, I can't sit here moping about it or it will only get worse. Enjoy your day! Think of me when you're calmly sipping mint julips on the veranda!

Weight Loss in Classic Literature

2010-10-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'm starting a second goal-oriented fitness project, counting down the last eighty days of 2010. And when I think of a theme for eighty days, I always go back to Jules Verne's Around the World in 80 Days. So as the kick-off for this new goal, I created this Prologue to the adventure.

It's a bit of silliness, but I wanted to do something besides having me sit in a chair and go, "Blah, blah, blah." Have a chuckle.

A Right-Winger Can Act!

2010-10-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

Last night Buckboard Productions pulled off another one, entertaining about 20 people in the loft of the Summit Saloon with The Mafioso Murders. I've played Mugsy so many times I almost don't need to rehearse him anymore. (It never hurts to have a refresher, however; the last thing I want to do is let arrogance beforehand cause a fumble on stage.)

Everyone appeared to have a good time, even the man who once referred to me as a "political wannabe douchebag" after I aired my right-wing views on a Facebook forum and took him to task for his own presentation style. Apparently this douchebag has fairly decent acting skills, as he twice shook my hand and said, "Good job!" before leaving for the night.

Coming up, Eat, Drink and Be Deadly, playing live in the Willamette Valley on October 30th! I have to refresh myself on wines, since I'm supposed to be kind of familiar with them, enough to ad-lib with wine tasters during the evening.

I'm Here Now, Not Then

2010-10-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, I do celebrate Columbus Day – though compared to the festivities of Christmas, Thanksgiving, or even the diminutive brouhaha that was my 36th birthday party, my Columbus Day "celebration" is barely a blip on the radar. Basically I deliberately spend the day being a little lazy, since I have justification on the calendar for it if a client calls wondering where his project is. "I'm sorry, we're closed for the holiday," I get to say.

Of course, it is increasingly passe to give any kudos whatsoever to the man, now that the noble liberal establishment has done the painful and tear-jerking duty of taking a paint scraper to the whitewash job of earlier generations and exposing the man as someone who apparently enslaved some of the natives he found, as well as raped a handful. Frankly, I refuse to take any single historic viewpoint as the final authority, since all history is written from the writer's perspective. I don't even fully side with Christian historians, since they sometimes run a little too far in their enthusiasm (like calling deists Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson devout Christians just because both men talked about God).

The trump card this year, if everything I'm reading from my connections on Facebook, is to retort: "How can you 'discover' a continent already inhabited by people?" The argument is a childish game of semantics posing as higher thinking: People (and groups) "discover" things for themselves all the time, things they personally were unaware of even if others already knew. It is not illegitimate to say that Columbus discovered North America, because the Europeans in general knew nothing of this land mass separating their western coast from the eastern coast of Asia.

But let's call it a given that Columbus was a cruel and lascivious tyrant who did not truly discover anything. Is there anything left to celebrate? I say yes!

I live today in a country where I can freely (so far) worship the deity of my choosing, where I can raise a family in relative peace and safety, where I can earn a living, and where I can basically live in liberty. And like it or not, Columbus was an instrumental part of this present reality. I have learned enough to concede that he was not motivated by the highest of biblical Christian ideals, but without his voyage millions of us may still be living in Europe under tyrannical monarchs with no religious tolerance whatsoever. And if it hadn't been Columbus, it would have been someone else eventually – the European wanderlust was a much larger phenomenon than just one man's curiosity – and that person could have been worse.

What about the displaced Native Americans who were "here first"? Let me preface the remainder of this post with the statement that I do not condone the sins committed by Columbus. At any point that he violated God's Word (enslavement, rape), he did evil, plain and simple. And it is entirely possible, if he rested in the Catholic "gospel" prevalent in Italy, that he is already paying for those sins and will for eternity.

But if whitewash was applied to Columbus' character, it has been applied in equal volume to the Native Americans, who are increasingly portrayed as noble, peaceful tribes existing in harmony with each other and with nature. They communed with the spirits, they respected the land, and all was tranquil bliss. Right? And, of course, "they were here first." (Sure to be next year's trump argument.)

Never mind that they were pagans to the core, engaging in heathen practices akin to witchcraft and Shamanism. Never mind that there was bloody intertribal warfare from coast to coast, complete with intertribal kidnapping, enslavement, rape, and murder. The reality is that peace and tranquility were the exception, not the norm.

Therefore it would not surprise me if the arrival of the "White Man" on this continent was the initiation of a judgment from God. As is evident in the Bible, Jehovah is not incapable of using one group of evil men to punish another group of evil men; it happened to Israel more than once when they turned away from Him. This does not excuse the sins of the captors or the captives; it is simply a reality. Nor am I saying that this is indeed why God allowed Columbus to land on North American shores; I am only presenting the scenario as one possibility. The Native Americans of those times were utterly abandoned to paganism, so sending Europeans to overrun them as divine punishment is an entirely plausible option. If sins were committed by those who unknowingly carried out God's judgment, they will be punished too. (It may even be happening again today, as our increasingly anti-Christian culture is overrun by illegal immigrants.)

I could say more but my life does not allow for a career in blogging. I'm guessing what I did say will be enough to alienate some readers anyway; no point in continuing and alienating even more. Ultimately my point is that I now live in a country of liberty for which I am thankful, and for which I recognize Columbus' part in the story. And that really is the extent to which I "celebrate" Columbus Day.

Every American Needs to Read This

2010-10-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

I posted this article last March shortly before the "historic" vote that implemented mandatory health care and all the taxes to go with it. As any bad law can be repealed, I am reprinting it here so that its points are not forgotten. Sentences that struck me as particularly salient are highlighted.

Health Care in a Free Society

Paul Ryan is in his sixth term as a member of Congress, representing Wisconsin's First Congressional District. He is the ranking member of the House Budget Committee and a senior member of the House Ways and Means Committee. A graduate of Miami University in Ohio, he and his wife Janna have three children and live in Janesville, Wisconsin.

The following is adapted from a speech delivered on January 13, 2010, in Washington, D.C., at an event sponsored by Hillsdale College's Allan P. Kirby, Jr. Center for Constitutional Studies and Citizenship.

Someone once said that before there was the New Deal, there was the Wisconsin Deal. In my home state, the University of Wisconsin was an early hotbed of progressivism, whose goal was to reorder society along lines other than those of the Constitution. The best known Wisconsin progressive in American politics was Robert LaFollette. “Fighting Bob,” as he was called, was a Republican – as was Theodore Roosevelt, another early progressive. Today we tend to associate progressivism mostly with Democrats, and trace it back to Woodrow Wilson. But it had its roots in both parties.

The social and political programs of the progressives came in on two great waves: the New Deal of the 1930s and the Great Society of the 1960s. Today, President Obama often invokes progressivism and hopes to generate its third great wave of public policy. In thinking about what this would mean, we need look no farther than the health care reform program he is promoting along with the leadership in Congress.

Let me say here at the beginning that even though survey after survey shows that 75 percent or more of Americans are satisfied with the quality of their health care, no one I know in Congress denies that health care reform is needed. Everyone understands that health care in our country has grown needlessly expensive, and that some who want coverage cannot afford it. The ongoing debate over health care, then, is not about whether there should be reform; it is about what the principle of that reform ought to be.

Under the terms of our Constitution, every individual has a right to care for their health, just as they have a right to eat. These rights are integral to our natural right to life – and it is government's chief purpose to secure our natural rights. But the right to care for one's health does not imply that government must provide health care, any more than our right to eat, in order to live, requires government to own the farms and raise the crops.

Government's constitutional obligations in regard to protecting such rights are normally met by establishing the conditions for free markets – markets which historically provide an abundance of goods and services, at an affordable cost, for the largest number. When free markets seem to be failing to meet this goal – and I would argue that the delivery of health care today is an example of where this is the case – government, rather than seeking to supply the need itself, should look to see if its own interventions are the root of the problem, and should make adjustments to unleash competition and choice.

With good reason, the Constitution left the administration of public health – like that of most public goods – decentralized. If there is any doubt that control of health care services should not have been placed in the federal government, we need only look at the history of Medicare and Medicaid – a history in which fraud has proliferated despite all efforts to stop it and failure to control costs has become a national nightmare. In 1966 the cost of Medicare to the taxpayers was about $3 billion. The House Ways and Means Committee estimated that it would cost $12 billion (adjusted for inflation) by 1990. The actual cost in 1990 was nearly nine times that—$107 billion. By 2009 Medicare costs reached $427 billion, with Medicaid boosting that by an additional $255 billion. And this doesn't take into account the Medicaid expansion in last year's “stimulus.”

The health care reform bills that emerged from the House and the Senate late last year would only exacerbate this crisis. The federal takeover of health care that those bills represent would subsume approximately one-sixth of our national economy. Combined with spending at all levels, government would then control about 50 percent of total national production.

The good news is that we have a choice. There are three basic models for health care delivery that are available to us: (1) today's business-government partnership or “crony capitalism” model, in which bureaucratized insurance companies monopolize the field in most states; (2) the progressive model promoted by the Obama administration and congressional leaders, in which federal bureaucrats tell us which services they will allow; and (3) the model consistent with our Constitution, in which health care providers compete in a free and transparent market, and in which individual consumers are in control.

We are urged today – out of compassion – to support the progressive model; but placing control of health care in the hands of government bureaucrats is not compassionate. Bureaucrats don't make decisions about health care according to personal need or preference; they ration resources according to a dollar-driven social calculus. Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel, one of the administration's point people on health care, advocates what he calls a “whole life system” – a system in which government makes treatment decisions for individuals using a statistical formula based on average life expectancy and “social usefulness.” In keeping with this, the plans that recently emerged from Congress have a Medicare board of unelected specialists whose job it would be to determine the program's treatment protocols as a method of limiting costs.

President Obama said in December: “If we don't pass [this health care reform legislation] ... the federal government will go bankrupt, because Medicare and Medicaid are on a trajectory that are [sic] unsustainable....” On first hearing, this argument appears ludicrous: We must stop the nation from going broke by enacting a program costing $800 billion or more in its first decade alone? On the other hand, if the President means what he says, there is only one way to achieve his stated goal under the new program: through deep and comprehensive government rationing of health care.

The idea that the government should make decisions about how long people should live and who should be denied care is something that Americans find repugnant. As is true of the supply of every service or product, the supply of health care is finite. But it is a mistake to conclude that government should ration it, rather than allowing individuals to order their needs and allocate their resources among competing options. Those who are sick, special needs patients, and seniors are the ones who will be most at risk when the government involves itself in these difficult choices – as government must, once it takes upon itself management of American health care.

The very idea of government-run health care conflicts with the American idea of a free society and the constitutional principles underlying it – the principles of individual rights and free markets. And from a practical perspective it makes no sense, given that our current health care system is the best in the world – even drawing patients from other advanced countries that have suffered by adopting the government-run model.

But if one begins with the idea that health care reform to reduce costs should be guided by the principles of economic and political liberty, what would such reform look like? Four changes to the current system come immediately to mind.

One, we should equalize the tax treatment of people paying for health care by ending the current discrimination against those who don't get health insurance from their jobs—in other words, everyone paying for health care should receive the same tax benefits.

Two, we need high-risk insurance pools in the states so that those with pre-existing conditions can obtain coverage that is not prohibitively expensive, and so that costs in non-high-risk pools are stabilized. To see the value of this, consider a pool of 200 people in which six have pre-existing heart disease or cancer. Rates for everyone will be through the roof. But if the six are placed in a high-risk pool and ensured coverage at an affordable rate, the risk profile of the larger pool is stabilized and coverage for the remaining 194 people is driven down.

Three, we need to unlock existing health care monopolies by letting people purchase health insurance across state lines – just as they do car insurance and other goods and services. This is a simple and obvious way to reduce costs.

Four, we need to establish transparency in terms of costs and quality of health care. In Milwaukee, an MRI can cost between $400 and $4,000, and a bypass surgery between $4,700 and $100,000. Unless the consumer is able to compare prices and quality of services – and unless he has an incentive to base choices on that information, as he does in purchasing other goods and services – there is not really a free market. It would go a long way to solve our health care problems to recreate one.

These four measures would empower consumers and force providers – insurers, doctors, and hospitals – to compete against each other for business. This works in other sectors of our economy, and it will work with health care.

So why can't we agree on them? The answer is that the current health care debate is not really about how we can most effectively bring down costs. It is a debate less about policy than about ideology. It is a debate over whether we should reform health care in a way compatible with our Constitution and our free society, or whether we should abandon our free market economic model for a full-fledged European-style social welfare state. This, I believe, is the true goal of those promoting government-run health care.

If we go down this path, creating entitlement after entitlement and promising benefits that can never be delivered, America will become like the European Union: a welfare state where most people pay few or no taxes while becoming dependent on government benefits; where tax reduction is impossible because more people have a stake in welfare than in producing wealth; where high unemployment is a way of life and the spirit of risk-taking is smothered by webs of regulation.

America today is not as far from this tipping point as we might think. While exact and precise measures cannot be made, there are estimates that in 2004, 20 percent of households in the U.S. were receiving about 75 percent of their income from the federal government, and that another 20 percent were receiving nearly 40 percent of their income from federal programs. All in all, about 60 percent of U.S. households were receiving more government benefits and services, measured in dollars, than they were paying back in taxes. It has also been estimated that President Obama's first budget alone raises this level of “net dependency” to 70 percent.

Looked at in this way, I see health care reform of the kind promoted by the Obama administration and congressional leaders as part of a crusade against the American idea. This is a dramatic charge, but the only alternative is that they are ignorant of the consequences of their proposed programs. The national health care exchange created by their legislation, together with its massive subsidies for middle-income earners, would represent the greatest expansion of the welfare state in our country in a generation – and possibly in history. According to recent analysis, the plan would provide subsidies that average a little less than 20 percent of the income of people earning up to 400 percent of the Federal Poverty Level. In other words, as many as 110 million Americans could claim this new entitlement within a few years of its implementation. In addition to the immediate massive increase in dependency this would bring on, the structure of the subsidies – whereby they fade out as income rises – would impose a marginal tax penalty that would act as a disincentive to work, increasing dependency even more.

And before I conclude, allow me to clear up a misperception about insurance exchanges: it makes absolutely no difference whether we have 50 state exchanges rather than a federal exchange, as long as the federal government is where the subsidies for consumers will be located. In other words, despite what some seem to believe, both the House and the Senate versions of health care reform set up a system in which, if you are eligible and you want a break on your insurance premium, it is the federal government that will provide it while telling you what kind of insurance you have to buy. In this sense, the idea of state exchanges instead of a federal exchange is a distinction without a difference.

Americans take pride in self-government, which entails providing for their own well-being and the well-being of their families in a free society. In exchange for this, the promoters of government-run health care would make them passive subjects, dependent on handouts and far more concerned about security than liberty. At the heart of the conflict over heath care reform, as I said at the beginning, are two incompatible understandings of America: one is based on the principles of progressivism, and would place more and more aspects of our lives under the administration of unelected “experts” in federal bureaucracies; the other sees America as a society of free individuals under a Constitution that severely limits what the federal government can rightfully do.

We have seen many times over the past 100 years that the American people tend to be resistant to the progressive view of how we should reform our system of government – and I believe we are seeing this again today. Americans retain the Founders' view that a government that seeks to go beyond its high but limited constitutional role of securing equal rights and establishing free markets is not progressive at all in the literal sense of that word – rather it is reactionary. Such a government seeks to privilege some Americans at the expense of others – which is precisely what the American Revolution was fought to prevent.

Americans understand that the problems facing our health care system today, real as they are, can be addressed without nationalizing one-sixth of the American economy and moving us past the tipping point toward a European-style social welfare state. They know that we can solve these problems while at the same time remaining a free society and acting consistently with the principles that have made us the greatest and most prosperous nation on earth. It is our duty now as their representatives to come together and do so.

A Perfect 10

2010-10-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

And there it is, October 10th, 2010, otherwise known as 10/10/10. It will now be 13 months before such a thing happens again. I'm not sure what it portends for me or mankind, but I'm glad I was aware of this one's arrival. I missed 8/9/10 and many of the other fun ones that have come by in the past couple of years; I always seem to notice them after the given day is over and everyone else has made a big deal about it on Facebook.

Mugsy the Ladykiller

2010-10-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

Friday night saw the Buckboard troupe deliver a fine performance to a crowd somewhere around 50 people at the Aspen Ridge Retirement Community. The program's proceeds benefited arthritis research.

Live interactive theater always has its interesting challenges. In this case: One audience member refused (inebriated?) to read his lines when it was his turn, even when Steve tried several times to get him simply to read his script. His ad-lib with Connie was in no way helpful to moving the plot forward.

A few people in the room persisted in being loud and talkative when the show was going on, but that's nothing new. Most of the people had a good laugh and a good time, playing along and enjoying the spirit of the evening.

I won't mention names or job descriptions, but at one point in the script, my character ("Mugsy") starts a scene by improvising a little flirt session with some cute lady in the room. (On some occasions, depending on the crowd, finding someone cute can be tricky.) So I picked out a table where two women were the only ones. I'm guessing late 20's, and, frankly, not unattractive. (I've told my wife about the incident already, all is well!)

I did my flirting, got interrupted by "Angel Scampini" (Connie), and the scene proceeded. All went according to script.

Here's the kicker: After the show, the girl I specifically addressed came over and gave me her card, recommending that I take advantage of her business services. (It's a legit business, I just don't want to enable people to identify her.) She also made a point of making sure I saw her cell phone number on the card. I do believe I was being invited to call her.

If that's true, I confess to being flattered. But I did not take the time then to point out to her that I was only acting and was in fact quite married. For one thing, I didn't want to embarrass her in front of the rest of the cast or her friend, all within earshot of the conversation. For another, if that's not what she was suggesting, I didn't want to embarrass myself by presuming to appear that attractive and eligible. I hope she's not too let down that I never plan to call her directly.

The Giggles

2010-10-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm not sure what happened, but Thursday night's rehearsal was full of the giggles. Lines I've heard a hundred times suddenly had me unable to hold back a smirk and a laugh. It didn't help that Karen and Connie both threw in new ad-libbed gags of their own that were very amusing.

But have no fear! By Friday night's show I will be back to my professional self, giving them the performance they paid good money to see!

Remember we have the same show coming up on the 12th at the Summit Saloon. A lot less money, but all the fun! Come on by and figure out who killed the Godfather! More information can be found on the Buckboard website, for this and upcoming shows.

Practicing Murder

2010-10-07T00:00:00.000-07:00

Last night was one of our remaining rehearsals for Buckboard Productions' upcoming fundraiser this Friday at the Aspen Ridge Retirement Center. We are performing our most popular show, The Mafioso Murders, and this round stars Mike Ficher, Karen Sipes, Connie Norman, Steve Meyer, and myself.

The dinner and show cost $50, and proceeds go to the Arthritis Foundation if I recall correctly. You can check out the Buckboard website for contact and ticket information.

If $50 is a little spendy for you these days, we're performing the same show at the Summit Saloon on Tuesday the 12th for $20. The ticket does not include dinner, which may be ordered from the Summit's menu during the evening. Again, visit the website for information on how to make reservations.

Buckboard Productions is Central Oregon's only fully-interactive theater experience (no, Sandy, a splatter zone for Night of the Living Dead: The Musical does not count as interactive), rated by out-of-town visitors as "the best" they had ever seen. Come on by and see if you can figure out whodunit!

A Drive to Remember

2010-10-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

As I restructure new "editions" of my previous attempts at blogging, this post from October 4th, 2009, is a special one that I don't want to discard.

Original Post:

I got an e-mail yesterday afternoon that will remain one of my most treasured ones for a long time:

I made it home on my 6th day on the road. I wanted to thank you for everything you did. It's good to know that there are still kind people such as yourself in this world. You rock, Brian. My trip was epic! Like so epic that I'm writing a book about it and will probably be a millionaire. Anyway it's really good to be home and I couldn't have done it without you.

Sincerely, Aaron (the hitchhiker) Wechter

I tell the following story not as an attempt to get pats on the back or boost my ego in any way. I tell it because even before receiving this e-mail, I had such joy in being used by God in this small way that I cannot help but pass it on.

It was a week ago, on Saturday, September 26th, that I found myself on Highway 20 on the eastern outskirts of Bend. Just a mile or two from where modernization unofficially ends, just beyond the Pilot Butte Cinemas and those business parks. I had been heading north from Sunriver but ended up where I was because of a small personal detour.

The time was 5:30 p.m., and the plan was to head through Bend and proceed north to my home in Redmond. In proceeding west toward the city, I noticed a young man hitch-hiking east on the other side of the road. He carried a guitar and a backpack. Clean-cut, cleanly dressed. Hitch-hikers in this area are often scruffy and somewhat frightening in their bearing.

I won't say I heard God's voice, but I sure felt a grip on my spirit suggesting I turn around and see where he was going. I had no urgent need to be anywhere at any time, so I did. By the time I got back to him, he had stopped walking and was at an intersection soliciting a ride. Apparently lugging the guitar had tired him out.

When I asked where he was going, he said Burns. I was braced for that, since Burns is the only place a person could want to get to on that road, excepting one of the farms out on that highway. It is also a 130-mile drive. I looked at the gas tank and the clock, and said I'd get him as far as Brothers. At that point I would need to turn around and get back to Bend or risk running out of gas trying to reach the next available pumphouse, of which there are few on that stretch of road.

We started driving. His name was Aaron, he's eighteen, and he had spent the summer with his dad in Warm Springs, but they had had a falling out. Unable to afford a bus ticket, and with no relatives with that kind of money themselves, he just up and started out on foot for home. And home is Texas where his Mom lives. Oregon to Texas, by walking and hitch-hiking. I wouldn't have had the chutzpah at eighteen.

Now, I knew Brothers was pretty much Nowhere, but when we arrived there, just how Nowhere it really was hit me again. I considered getting some gas at the outpost there, but they were out of regular fuel. If I didn't turn around now, I would be stuck going straight ahead for another seventy miles to the next gas station. With internal misgivings, I pulled over to the side of the road to let Aaron out. And as he opened the door he asked if I had any food on me, since he didn't have any and hadn't eaten since the day before. But I had nothing with me.

I couldn't do it; I couldn't let him out there and just drive back home. I suppose if he had insisted, I would have; but I didn't really give him the opportunity to get out at all. I told him to close the door, said "I can get you at least a little further," and moved right on through Brothers.

Basically there is nothing in the stretch between Bend and Burns. Brothers does not count, nor do a couple of other places that are good for little more than resting your legs. It is miles upon miles of sagebrush and dust. With the sun setting already, there was simply no place I felt comfortable letting him out.

We reached one of those little stopping points at 6:55. It's called Hampton, and it has a gas station and a diner. The gas attendant said I just caught him: He closes at seven. I filled up the car.

From Brothers to this point I had been thinking and praying about how far to take this adventure. Even here at Hampton, I didn't feel good or right letting the kid just walk away. The book of James has a verse about the uselessness of telling someone to be warm and well-fed while denying him a coat and food. I'm not entirely sure it was referring to a situation I had gotten myself into, but the thought did cross my mind. I called home to get input from the wife, and her answer confirmed it: I was going to drive the kid to Burns.

I went into the diner part to pay my gas bill. They were about to close, too, but I asked if they had time for one more set of customers. So I also gave the kid dinner. The way he wolfed down his hamburger, I don't think he was lying to me about not having any food all day. Several times during the meal he said I was the nicest person he had met so far on his journey. To my shame I did not verbalize why: Because God has given much to me, and I am to give unto others in His name.

We continued on, the road now being dark. I was much happier getting this kid to Burns in a safe car with a driver that would do him no harm than to be back in my own warm home with the thought of his walking the long dry road after the sun was down.

We talked in spurts; apparently he and I are both non-talkers. In between the moments of conversation, my mind was still in prayer about how much I could and should help the kid. He had said a bus ticket to Texas was $200. I've got $1200 to spare even now. I seriously considered it.

About five miles short of Burns, God answered and said no, a bus ticket was not to be my ministry that night. But God did agree to my other thought: Making sure Aaron had a warm safe room for the night. I picked a hotel that did not look like an expensive franchise and checked him in. Another part of me had little voices saying to keep an eye on my bank account in case he ran up charges during the night or I got dinged for damages. After all, I didn't really know the kid.

Aaron was not the emotional kind, but the look on his face said enough for me to know that he was grateful. I tried just to shake his hand in the hotel room; he insisted on a hug before I left.

I left in tears: Sad that I couldn't take the time to get him all the way to Texas; sad to think of an 18-year-old with parents so antagonistic toward each other that the kid didn't have a solid home to grow up in; sad that I would never see him again, for as much as we didn't talk and only knew each other for about three hours, I enjoyed the time and was missing him already as I started driving back to Bend.

I made one request as a re-payment for my time and money: That he e-mail me when he got home safe to Texas. Yesterday afternoon, it came in. And my joy was complete.

Sin(ge) City

2010-10-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

Swanky new Vegas hotel’s “death ray” proves inconvenient for some guests

By Brett Michael Dykes
Wed Sep 29, 12:00 pm ET

And here you thought bedbugs were the biggest source of anxiety for hotel guests.

Yes, guests at Vdara hotel in Las Vegas now have something else to worry about: Being burned alive by the glare of the building’s “death ray.”

What the heck’s a “death ray,” you ask? Well, first off, it’s not as deadly as it sounds, since no one has actually died from it – at least not yet. But according to the U.K. Daily Mail, the powerful beams of Nevada sunlight reflecting off the glass hotel onto sections of the hotel’s swimming pool area have burned some guests and have melted plastic bags.

The building’s concave design creates a sort of magnifying-glass effect. The hotel’s designers reportedly anticipated that ill-situated humans might experience some discomfort courtesy of the building’s blinding glare, so they placed a film over the glass panes of its many windows. Obviously that didn’t quite do the trick. So for now the hotel is placing larger umbrellas in the pool area while designers try to come up with another remedy.

According to the Las Vegas Review-Journal, the hotel’s employees coined the term “death ray” to describe the intense reflection. Reports of the glare have also enhanced the hotel’s public profile, though almost certainly not in the way its owners would like: Yahoo! searches for Vdara have spiked by nearly 19,000 percent in the past 24 hours.

It turns out that Vdara isn’t the only building out there creating intense heat and glare for hapless passersby. Gordon Absher, a spokesman for MGM Resorts International, which owns Vdara, told the Review-Journal that in Las Vegas, the AdventureDome at Circus Circus and the Mandalay Bay produce “hot spots” that some guests have actually sought out, believing the spots will aid tanning regimens. In Los Angeles, the Frank Gehry-designed Walt Disney Concert Hall produced such a harsh glare that it heated nearby homes, forcing residents to blast their air conditioners high above their customary capacities in order for the residents to keep cool.

Bill Pintas, a Chicago attorney, told the Daily Mail that he experienced the harsh glare of the death ray firsthand during a recent Vdara stay. Pintas reported that as he lounged out by the pool, his head suffered a sensation he likened to a “chemical burn.” He added, “Within 30 seconds, the back of my legs were burning.”

In another interview, Pintas said: “I was effectively being cooked.” Thankfully, he returned home alive. Still, his skin was burned and his hair was singed – disproving the old saying that whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

The Year of Hot and Sexy

2010-10-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

I am delighted to say that Saturday's excursion to Mazatlan (the restaurant) did not have a lingering effect on my attempts at weight loss. In fact, with Sunday morning's weigh-in, I am down 0.6 pounds from my weight on the morning of October 1st.

If you're just joining my life (how did you ever survive before having this head-on encounter with my sheer excellence?), I'll tell you that I joined my gym's weight-loss competition that began on Sunday, September 26th. I weighed in on their scale at 266, but this was with clothes on, seeing as how it was done in a big open room with all the other contestants. I saved the naked weigh-in for the privacy of my bathroom on my digital scale Monday morning, where the result was 261.4 pounds. The contestant with the greatest percentage of loss by late November wins one free year at the gym.

In addition, or in tandem with, or perhaps I mean parallel to the weight-loss contest, I am continuing what I started last February by working out and attempting to eat better in order to get in shape. I've been overweight for far too long now, and it's time to do something about it. I'm not sure exactly what my goal is, but I know I want to be healthy on the inside and look good on the outside.

If you have any interest in following along, you can check in to my BodySpace page at your convenience. I have a daily workout journal posted there, and the site comes with chart-makers so that progress is visible. But be warned: The "Before" pictures I have in my album are not for the faint of heart.

Birthday Buddies

2010-10-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

Every once in while, I just need Guy Time. Thankfully, my wife understands this, and as long as I don't overdo it, she "lets me out to play" now and then. Using my birthday as the excuse this time, yesterday I enjoyed lunch at Mazatlan with Daniel Kulin, Greg Wesson, and Luke Valenti (who flew in from Albania just for the event, I'm sure of it).

It's hard to get my circle of friends together much anymore. Some have jobs, some are in college, some had the nerve to become missionaries overseas, and some are so unresponsive as to give me the impression that I want them in my circle of friends more than they want me in theirs. That's life, I suppose; but it doesn't sit well with me, frankly.

Well, that sounded despondent. Know that I did have a very nice time at lunch, so thanks to the three gentlemen who could make it.

The Drug Test

2010-10-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

I took my first pre-employment drug test Friday. And here I thought it would be so simple!

I checked in to the Bend Memorial Clinic's Occupational Medicine division, where a charming receptionist never once flashed a smile while taking my name, and instructed me to sit in the waiting area as if she had told me a hundred times before and was "plum tuckered out" by the way I wasn't obeying her.

The wait was short, and a very pleasant nurse took me into one of the rooms where she took down preliminary information. All perfectly normal, I was doing fine. She blanched a little when I said I had been drinking plenty of water, because apparently if the urine sample is too diluted they suspect you of attempting to wash the drugs out in a hurry and the test is discounted. It's not that I was drinking an inordinate amount, it's just that I wanted to make sure I actually could urinate during the period of time I was at the clinic.

Off we went to a special restroom where I had to empty my pockets into a lock box. I guess I just don't naturally think in a subversive manner because I had no idea why they would require this procedure. It turns out druggies have attempted to sneak in samples of untainted urine so they could pass the test and gain or retain their employment, so now all pockets are emptied into a container that is sealed shut during the "testing period".

Then I was required to wash my hands with soap and water. I understand doing so after using the restroom; I am befuddled as to why it would be mandatory beforehand. Perhaps an alert reader can fill me in, as I did not want to seem too inquisitive, like someone trying to beat the system. Truth is, I'm just plain curious.

She then left me with a beaker and instructions to fill it to a certain point within a four-minute time frame, and not to flush the toilet or wash my hands during that time. Again, the reasons for the details of the procedure elude any attempt to deduce them myself. But I did as I was instructed; the drinking of water ahead of time served its purpose amply.

I had to witness her seal my urine in a capsule, then tape it shut with a special adhesive, all to verify that she herself did not tamper with it just to ruin my reputation with my potential employer. What is to stop it from being tampered with between her office and the lab, I have no idea, but that's a contingency that would be a huge burden to prevent: "Now, please follow this package as it gets sent down to the lab. We hope you have a few free hours."

And off I went. Unless someone sneaked into my bedroom one night this past week and injected illegal substances into my body, I'm pretty much assuming I will come up "clean". My closest contact with illegal substances was the time, over a decade ago, I was in the same room with a guy who lit up a bong. The smell was so horrible I left quickly.

So I figure sometime next week I should be hearing from my prospective employer confirming that I am safe to come to work. I'll tell more about that when it happens.

The 36th Party

2010-10-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

Because of a busy schedule on September 29th, we moved my official party to yesterday, the 30th. Veronica, the kids, and I went over to my Mom's house for a simple but enjoyable dinner of hamburgers followed by chocolate cake and a couple of presents (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban on DVD, baby!). My Uncle John and Aunt Barbara were there as well, having arrived to spend the night before Mom and Barbara head off to South Carolina this evening to pick up Mom's van and drive it home.

I won't pretend I don't miss the good old days of a lot of friends at the party along with a sizable pile of presents, but what I never thought was possible has happened: I've accepted that older people just aren't as celebrated on their birthdays as the young'uns are. I will not wither up and die from depression. But neither will I turn down any late presents anyone wants to send. You can find my Wish List at Amazon.com by entering motpicvideo@yahoo.com in the Wish List search box!

2010-B

2010-07-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's July 1st, and it's been over three months since I've placed an entry here. How depressing. Well, not really; it means I've been so busy doing things I like doing that the side hobby of blogging had to take a back seat. But it means my goal of daily entries in this blog are shot.

We had a very successful run of She Stoops to Conquer, in terms of performance quality. No performance disappointed me, and two or three were darn near perfect in every way. I was a little less satisfied with the audiences, only two or three of which seemed to fully appreciate the comedy and offer constant uproarious feedback throughout. Most of them were fairly subdued, to the point where we wondered backstage if they were enjoying it. But the overall experience was absolutely wonderful and I miss it. Somewhat. I don't miss the 20-minute nightly drive.

After that, things have plugged along. I'm still unearthing things I owe people that ended up on the back burner while I worked on the play, which kept me hopping more than any other play I've directed.

I also had a neat opportunity to help on an independent feature film being shot in Sisters. While I was only called in as a "swing" for two days out of their 30-day schedule, I learned a lot and enjoyed the experience. I will have full descriptions of my two days over at my Cinemusing blog.

Abigail learned to roll, though she does not like being on her stomach. Arthur earned a bunch of stuff at the closing ceremony of this year's AWANA. Veronica and kids enjoyed two weeks in Michigan courtesy of the proud grandparents.

And I'm sure there was much, much more, but today is a busy one, so I'm going to post this notice and head off to conquer my To-Do list. Enjoy your day, serve the Lord with gladness, and write if you get work.

Ah, the Swiss

2010-03-13T11:01:00.000-08:00

Swiss Voters Reject Giving Abused Animals Lawyers

by Frank Jordans, Associated Press Writer

The result was emphatic: Swiss voters don't think abused animals need to have their own lawyers.

It's a proposal that would never even come near a referendum in other countries, but the measure's defeat Sunday disappointed animal rights advocates, who say Switzerland's elaborate animal welfare laws aren't being enforced.

Opponents of the proposal, including key farmers' groups and the government, had argued that existing laws are sufficient and appointing special lawyers to act on behalf of animals would be unnecessarily expensive for taxpayers.

"The Swiss people have clearly said our animal protection laws are so good we don't need animal lawyers," Jakob Buechler, a lawmaker for the centrist Christian People's Party, told Swiss television SF1.

Official results showed that 70.5 percent of voters cast their ballot against the proposal to extend nationwide a system that has been in place in Zurich since 1992. Some 29.5 percent of voters backed the proposal, with turnout at just over 45 percent.

According to the country's only animal lawyer, Antoine F. Goetschel, public prosecutors are often unsure about animal rights and shy away from pursuing cases even if there is clear evidence of abuse. He said the cost of Sunday's measure would have been less than 1 Swiss franc ($1) per person a year.

Tiana Angelina Moser, a lawmaker for the Green Liberal Party, said animal rights advocates would look for other ways to make sure laws against animal abuse are properly applied and those who hurt animals receive appropriate punishment.

"It's definitely disappointing, I thought it would have been a closer vote," said Moser. "I don't think it's a 'no' to animal protection, but a 'no' for this particular measure."

Switzerland tightened its laws two years ago and now has among the strictest rules anywhere when it comes to caring for pets and farm animals.

The country's 160-page animal protection law states exactly how much space owners must give Mongolian gerbils (233 square inches) and what water temperature is required for African clawed frogs (18-22 degrees Celsius; 64-72 degrees Fahrenheit)

It stipulates that pigs, budgies, goldfish and other social animals cannot be kept alone. Horses and cows must have regular exercise outside their stalls and dog owners have to take a training course to learn how to properly look after their pets.

Like in other countries, the law also forbids killing animals in a cruel fashion or for fun.

Swiss daily Tribune de Geneve reported earlier this year that a woman who decapitated four chickens and left their heads on the doorstep of her love rival received a 90-day suspended sentence.

Goetschel said he represents about 150-200 animals annually in Zurich, while in other cantons (states), only a handful of cases go to court each year.

Most of his clients are dogs, cows and cats, Goetschel told The Associated Press in a recent interview. Many cases involve the serious abuse of animals, such as deliberate wounding, rape and neglect.

But in one high-profile case last month, Goetschel represented a dead pike after an animal protection group accused the angler who caught it of cruelty for taking 10 minutes to haul the fish in.

The angler was found not guilty.

The Back Forty

2010-03-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

And last night we did the outdoor scene, one of the two times in the script we leave the Hardcastle main chamber. A look on Thea's face suggested she either thinks my particular vision for her begging scene isn't going to look right, or just that she's personally uneasy playing such the idiot in this scene. Ah, well; as my students can testify, I specialize in requiring people to end up looking like fools. But always and only for the good of the overall production.

Barmaids and Landladies

2010-03-11T00:00:00.000-08:00

Last night we rehearsed one of my favorite moments in the script, when Marlow reveals to Hastings his new-found desire for the "barmaid" Kate, followed by his stunning blow when he tells Hastings he sent the jewels to the "landlady". (If you're clueless, I know a great way to experience She Stoops to Conquer and see all these bits and pieces in context. A wonderful director is presenting it at a charming little theater in Bend, Oregon, next month.)

Anyway, I just find the interaction between those two characters on those few pages to be among the more lively and sparkling moments. Of course last night's blocking was rough, but from what I've already seen of Caleb and Gordon, I'm looking forward to seeing it grow.

Nervous Meeting

2010-03-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

Last night's rehearsal covered the second block of pages already blocked, primarily the scene in which Charles meets Kate for the first time in his very timid encounter. And it continues to be exciting seeing it come together. Caleb, Gordon, Jessica, and Jenn make a strong leading quartet of players, surrounded by an equally strong supporting cast.

We go on in less than a month! Too exciting! And too much to do to write long blog entries about it.

Building Blocks

2010-03-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's rehearsal of She Stoops to Conquer allowed me to see the first seventeen pages in their entirety. It was a good feeling. Certainly it needs polishing, but the ability to sit back and see some of the flow come together was inspiring. Caleb and Gordon are a nice pairing, and in fact I'm satisfied with the whole ensemble.

We're down to about four weeks, and if it's anything like Harvey, my already brief blog entries will get shorter and shorter until the show finally starts. See you!

To the Next Level

2010-03-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

Did I mention I found a workout partner? Or at least a potential one? His name is Josh, and he responded to my Craigslist post seeking a workout partner. (Amazingly, I did not get a bunch of replies from men thinking that I was subtly looking for gay sex; such things have arrived in my mailbox in the past, which puzzles me. My post was seeking a gym partner, and was placed under the category of "Strictly Platonic", so how that is "code" for "let's get it on" is beyond me.)

Anyway, we've worked out for a week now, four sessions, and seem to get along. Though we are of two different body types, our trajectory is similar enough that we mesh as a workout pair. So unless he comes to a contrary conclusion, I'd say we're set to work out as long as our mutual schedules allow.

And the difference is noticeable. When I work out alone, I lack internal motivation to really and truly push myself. With someone else there urging me to get that one last rep, I go harder. So I'm definitely hoping it is a lasting thing, because I can tell my workouts are going to do me a lot more good than before.

The What Awards?

2010-03-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

The Academy Awards are this weekend, and I find that for the second year in a row I have zero interest in watching. Last year it was specifically because Milk was up for several nominations; and the film's being so totally at odds with God's truth about homosexuality, I didn't feel like sitting through a bunch of people cheering on its sinful agenda.

But in general I've reached the point where I wonder, what is the point? For one thing, I'm going to like those movies I like whether they win awards or not. In fact, my favorites in any given year consistently fail to win Oscars, and are rarely even nominated, but they remain my favorites. Nor will any Oscar "trends" change my mind about what kinds of movies I would want to make were I ever finally given the chance.

Then there's just the whole thing of the pointlessness in watching a bunch of industry insiders vote for each other and pat each other on the back. That's great, but just like I have no interest in the Central Oregon Medical Board's annual awards dinner, I have just about lost all interest in the Academy Awards, or even any of the long string of awards leading up to it. It makes zero impact on my life, how I live it, what movies I like, and so on.

Thus it becomes three wasted hours of my life. I could be writing my own screenplay, or actually watching a movie – which, by the way, it sounds like I will be doing tomorrow. Erik Valenti is rounding up people to see Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. I'll have my official opinion soon.

So congrats to whoever wins, and congrats to Terry Gilliam for two nominations for The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, but which will not win.

Latino Film Festival 2010

2010-03-05T00:00:00.000-08:00

Oops, I posted this to my two film blogs yesterday, but didn't consider posting it here. There's still one day left.

***

If you're in the Central Oregon area you might want to stop in on the Latino Film Festival, now in its third year, with screenings tonight (3/4) and Saturday (3/6). Tonight's event is at COCC's Hitchcock Auditorium starting at 5:00 p.m., and Saturday's is being held at Bend High at 6:00 p.m. Both screenings include ethnic food, and Saturday's screening includes dance and music as well.

Due to my own schedule, I was unable to review any films for this year's festival, but last year's Viva Cuba was an interesting tale, and the cultural differences between other nations and ethnicities often results in films that take a refreshing step away from Hollywood's cookie cutters.

See the matching post on Mr. Director's Reviews and Cinemusing for the festival's website with more information.

The Tavern Scene

2010-03-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

Ah, last night I had the joy of creating the tavern scene. I don't really know why I was looking forward to this particular moment, but I was. And I had fun.

And to my delight, by the time we left the theater at the end, I saw great improvement in the interaction of the four tavern people. In this kind of situation, where you ask your actors to simply improv a bunch of joviality and laughter, the tendency among younger actors (of which all four are) is to half-heartedly fill in the basic effect you want and then die off into silence. This did happen at the beginning, but by the end of the evening I was liking what I saw and I am now confident they will be what I want by showtime, without reserve.

Stooping Away

2010-03-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

Rehearsals are going well for the play, and I'm having a lot of fun working with an energetic cast. Now if I could only find a way to turn this into a paying career.

Oh, and good news! We have a costumer. Lilli Ann Linford-Foreman, a regular participant at CTC, has agreed to assemble the wardrobe for this one. That is a huge relief to me. Not only do I have someone doing it, but someone who has a sharp eye for costumes and how to wrangle deals out of the people she knows.

So there's that, and I must sign off. Later, people.

The Cheese Button!

2010-03-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

I have wonderful news! At least I think it is. It is for me. It lifts a great curse off of my fast-food shopping experience. Wendy's has redone their computer cashier system, and now (drumroll):

They have a "No Cheese" button!

See, the thing is (and I think I blogged about this months ago but here it is again or maybe for the first time) that I don't like cheese on my hamburger, and years ago when you ordered a hamburger you got a hamburger and if you wanted cheese you asked for it and paid extra. Some years ago burger joints across the country changed it to where you automatically got the cheese and had to request not having it if you didn't want it, but (drumroll) you still pay for it.

At Wendy's this system was so fully integrated that their computerized cashier screens had no way to indicate to the cooks, "No cheese". I lost count of the number of times I got cheese on a burger when I didn't want it, despite having even looked the cashier in the eye and said, "Make sure to tell the cooks, No Cheese."

Until last month!

Now there's a button, and when I say, "No cheese," they hit that button and it even pops up on a monitor for my convenience so I can double-check my order and make sure I will not be getting cheese.

Now I just need them to stop charging me for it.

I May Start Drinking Coffee

2010-03-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

Gun Fans Cheer Starbucks' Policy

by Greg Bluestein, Associated Press Writer

Dale Welch recently walked into a Starbucks in Virginia, handgun strapped to his waist, and ordered a banana Frappuccino with a cinnamon bun. He says the firearm drew a double-take from at least one customer, but not a peep from the baristas.

Welch's foray into the coffeehouse was part of an effort by some gun owners to exercise and advertise their rights in states that allow people to openly carry firearms.

Even in some "open carry" states, businesses are allowed to ban guns in their stores. And some have, creating political confrontations with gun owners. But Starbucks, the largest chain targeted, has refused to take the bait, saying in a statement this month that it follows state and local laws and has its own safety measures in its stores.

"Starbucks is a special target because it's from the hippie West Coast, and a lot of dedicated consumers who pay $4 for coffee have expectations that Starbucks would ban guns. And here they aren't," said John Bruce, a political science professor at the University of Mississippi who is an expert in gun policy.

Welch, a 71-year-old retired property manager who lives in Richmond, Va., doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't bear arms while he gets caffeinated.

"I don't know of anybody who would provide me with defense other than myself, so I routinely as a way of life carry a weapon — and that extends to my coffee shops," he said.

The fight for retailers heated up in early January when gun enthusiasts in northern California began walking into Starbucks and other businesses to test state laws that allow gun owners to carry weapons openly in public places. As it spread to other states, gun control groups quickly complained about the parade of firearms in local stores.

Some were spontaneous, with just one or two gun owners walking into a store. Others were organized parades of dozens of gun owners walking into restaurants with their firearms proudly at their sides.

In one case, about 100 activists bearing arms had planned to go to a California Pizza Kitchen in Walnut Creek, Calif., but after it became clear they weren't welcome they went to another restaurant. That chain and Peet's Coffee & Tea are among the businesses that have banned customers with guns.

Just as shops can deny service to barefoot customers, restaurants and stores in some states can declare their premises gun-free zones.

The advocacy group OpenCarry.org, a leading group encouraging the demonstrations, applauded Starbucks in a statement for "deciding not to discriminate against lawful gun carriers."

"Starbucks is seen as a responsible corporation and they're seen as a very progressive corporation, and this policy is very much in keeping with that," said John Pierce, co-founder of OpenCarry.org. "If you're going to support individual rights, you have to support them all. I applaud them, and I've gone out of my way personally to let every manager of every Starbucks I pass know that."

The Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence has responded by circulating a petition that soon attracted 26,000 signatures demanding that Starbucks "offer espresso shots, not gunshots" and declare its coffeehouses "gun-free zones."

Gun control advocates hope the coffeehouse firearms displays end up aggravating more people than they inspire.

"If you want to dress up and go out and make a little political theater by frightening children in the local Starbucks, if that's what you want to spend your energy on, go right ahead," said Peter Hamm, a spokesman for the Brady campaign. "But going out and wearing a gun on your belt to show the world you're allowed to is a little juvenile." [So is restricting the 2nd Amendment as if that will solve the problem of violence.]

The coffeehouse debate has been particularly poignant for gun-control advocates in Washington state, where four uniformed police officers were shot and killed while working on their laptops at a suburban coffeehouse. The shooter later died in a gun battle with police.

Ralph Fascitelli of Washington Ceasefire, an advocacy group that seeks to reduce gun violence, said allowing guns in coffeehouses robs residents of "societal sanctuaries."

"People go to Starbucks for an escape, just so they can get peace," Fascitelli said. "But people walk in with open-carry guns and it destroys the tranquility."

Gun control advocates have been on the defensive. Their opponents have trumpeted fears that gun rights would erode under a Democrat-led White House and Congress, but President Barack Obama and his top allies have largely been silent on issues such as reviving an assault weapons ban or strengthening background checks at gun shows.

Gun rights groups are looking to build on a 2008 U.S. Supreme Court ruling that struck down Washington, D.C.'s handgun ban, and cheered legislation that took effect Monday allowing licensed gun owners to bring firearms into national parks. Obama signed that legislation as part of a broader bill.

Legislators in Montana and Tennessee, meanwhile, have passed measures seeking to exempt guns made and kept in-state from national gun control laws. And state lawmakers elsewhere are considering legislation that would give residents more leeway to carry concealed weapons without permits.

Observers say the gun rights movement is using the Starbucks campaign to add momentum and energize its supporters.

"They're trying to change the culture with this broader notion of gun rights," said Clyde Wilcox, a Georgetown University government professor who has written a book on the politics of gun control. "I think they are pressing the notion that they've got a rout going, so why not just get what they can while they're ahead?"

Two Months

2010-02-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

Two months of 2010 are now complete and I don't think I've really gotten as far as I should have. My resolutions are faltering, but I'm holding on better than in previous years. I have a few projects that are way behind and I can never seem to get to them. The office continues to be a mess.

This is not to say I think things are hopeless, but merely that I need to refocus, evaluate what is important versus what is just eating up my time uselessly, and so on.

In good news, Congress has not yet been able to pass their Socialist health care plans. I'm fairly sure that they will, eventually, and slowly people will wake up but then it will be too late and there it is.

Three Down

2010-02-27T00:00:00.000-08:00

The first three rehearsals for She Stoops to Conquer are down, and I'm having fun. I get to work with Caleb again after three years, and I get to direct Ron after being a co-performer with him twice. Then there are those people I've met recently and was hoping for an opportunity to work with them, and this play gives me that chance – people like Will and Gordon.

Not much to say other than that. I'm looking forward to the next five weeks.

It's Like a Bad Movie

2010-02-26T00:00:00.000-08:00

My Wednesday was quite the brouhaha, a combination of bad timing on every count.

I told everyone at the auditions that I would contact the cast by 1:00 p.m. Wednesday. So Wednesday morning I got up fairly promptly at 8:00 and prepared the list. I don't like to start calling too early; I figure 9:00 is safe for having everyone in the town up and out of bed. So at 9:00 I did begin the calls.

I got through about eight of them, the primary cast members, then paused to use the internet. All good so far.

Then I picked up the phone to call the other half of the list and the phone was dead. Totally dead. I checked all the connections in the house – did I not hang up correctly, or did another line somewhere manage to come just loose enough to cut the line? – but all seemed well.

Veronica had the car until 12:30 for her Bible study meeting. Not wanting to wait for the phone lines to come back up, I walked quickly to the library so I could use their computers to e-mail the rest of the names on the list. After signing up for a library card, I did send the e-mail, as well as one to Lana at the theater asking her to call the one person who did not leave an e-mail address. Then I went back home.

Still no phone line. The cell phone had run out of minutes weeks ago so that was not an option either. And I had no car to get to Wal-Mart to get more minutes.

When Veronica got home, later than anticipated because she did some shopping, and heard about the phone, her first thought was: "Did you pay the phone bill?" Literally, yes, I did. But the question became, Did the check arrive at Qwest's office in time? In all likelihood, we had discovered our problem.

After another run to the library to check on e-mail responses, I did get to Wal-Mart and bought some more minutes. Using my cell phone, I called Qwest. Yes, they had shut off the phone line, but to my relief the check had arrived that very morning. So it was a matter of simply informing the department responsible for shut-offs that payment was in the building. Because of that good timing, the reinstatement fee was waived, and it wasn't long after that call that our phones were back.

The end result is that the last person on the cast list to be contacted was not actually reached until about three hours after the time I said they would all be called. What a day to lose a phone line!

Conquering Cast

2010-02-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

Well, before I could even post this, I had one rejection of an offered role, but here's what has been confirmed so far.

Caleb Neet: Charles Marlow
Gordon Asti: George Hastings
Jessica Haverly: Kate Hardcastle
Jenn Copsey: Constance Neville
Ron McCracken: Mr. Hardcastle
Thea Rhiannon: Mrs. Hardcastle
Ky Wentworth: Tony Lumpkin
Will Futterman: Jeremy
David Roepke: Diggory
Isaac Granberry: Roger
Jesse Whitson: Thomas
Emily Brown: Polly
Jolie Miller: Landlady
James Lewis: Tavern Friend*
Tanner Lussier: Tavern Friend*
Erik Valenti: Tavern Friend*

*Because there are different editions of the play, I am not sure exactly what names the tavern folk will be using, so these three roles are generically assigned at the moment.

We had the reading this past evening, and blocking begins tonight!

Auditions, Night Two

2010-02-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

In terms of Central Oregon Community Theater, these two nights of auditions have been a dream. Easily three dozen people, many of them talented enough for leading roles, almost all of them talented enough for at least some kind of role.

As I write this, I am just home from an hour and a half at Pizza Hut as Steve and I wrangled with whom to cast and why. I shall post it tomorrow. Good night.

Auditions, Night One

2010-02-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah, got a nice-sized crowd at auditions last night for She Stoops to Conquer! Frankly, in Central Oregon, you just never know what you're going to get, and it usually means not enough males. We had to pull several teeth to fill the cast of You Can't Take It With You, and when they auditioned The Murder Room which only needed three males, there were not enough applicants.

So to have such a plethora of candidates was wonderful. It also means I have to make the painful decisions of whom to cut, but that bridge is not crossed until after tonight's auditions. Fun, fun, fun.

A Serious Misunderstanding

2010-02-22T00:00:00.000-08:00

In addition to the general artistic review I shall write soon, I created this brief thought on just how well A Serious Man compares to the book of Job, since many critics are comparing it to the biblical account.

***

As I kept reading reviews of the Coen Brothers’ latest, A Serious Man, I noticed many critics comparing it to the book of Job, going so far as to call it an adaptation, or modern-day retelling. Having a natural interest in the Coen Brothers’ style, if not always their content, I now had an additional reason to rent the movie: To prepare for a rebuttal of the critics’ claims.

Basically, calling A Serious Man an adaptation of the book of Job is like calling Free Willy an adaptation of Moby Dick. Apart from a couple of superficial structural similarities, A Serious Man plays like the Coens read verses 13 through 19 of Job Chapter One, then closed the book and invented the rest.

It is the story of Larry Gopnick, a Jew in a nameless midwest community in the 1960’s. He teaches physics, has a wife and kids, and everything seems to be okay - until his wife asks for a divorce, a student tries to both bribe and blackmail him for a better grade, his tenure is threatened by an anonymous writer sending defaming letters to the tenure board, and his television won’t get reception so his son can watch “F-Troop”.

In all this, of course, we are meant to see the similarity in the way catastrophe struck Job. What is lacking is any real sense of catastrophe, however. Job lost his children and all his wealth, which was considerable. Larry stands merely to lose a happy and comfortable way of life.

Larry spends the movie trying to visit with three prominent rabbis in his community, in a parallel to the three friends who visited Job. In both stories, the advice ends up being unusable: In Job’s case, because the advice was wrong, lacking insight into God’s workings; in Larry’s case, because the advice is vague parables that would indicate the rabbis themselves don’t really know how to answer Larry’s questions and are being verbose so that they don’t have to be right.

After that, the stories part ways. Missing from A Serious Man is any insight into the heavenly dialogue between God and Satan that leads to Job’s earthly woes. Missing is a clear picture of Job’s upright character before the Lord - Larry is a good man, but his life lacks that obvious commendation from God given to Job in the very first verse. And - being vague to avoid spoiling the movie - by the time the movie is over, it could not be said of Larry that “in all this, he sinned not.”

The movie itself is told with the usual Coen excellence and irresistable quirkiness, and I expect to have a more “secular” evaluation of it as an artistic work on my personal blog soon. It is one of their more odd efforts, to be sure, with an ending so enigmatic it puts anything directed by Robert Redford to shame. But the characters and delivery are their usual unique product.

And to be fair, I have yet to hear the Coens themselves claim it is an adaptation of Job. I’ve only heard critics draw the comparison. Either way, anyone who sees Job’s story in this film doesn’t really know the message of Job’s life, nor his happy ending for his faithfulness. Overall, for language, and moments of sex and violence, plus a vague ending and potentially sacreligious abuse of Scripture, I don’t recommend A Serious Man.

***

Visit the Love for the Truth blog for more articles on Christian topics from myself and fellow writers.

The Cheese is Secure

2010-02-21T00:00:00.000-08:00

A former student posted something on my Facebook page yesterday that was truly touching. Among the bazillion goofy little applications (or "apps" if you're totally trendy) is one that asks random questions about your friends for you to answer, then it posts the answer to their Facebook wall.

The question given to the student, Luke, was: "What is your most memorable moment with Brian Johnson?" His answer in shortened form was that there were too many to pick just one. He rattled off a few, including two I had forgotten about: The "Guys Afternoon Out" to see U-571, and the way I would randomly suddenly swerve the car and scream "Panic!"

I don't remember all the details behind the trip to see U-571 except that something was going on at Central Christian Schools that made me feel that the good guys at the school, the ones trying to do right and obey the rules and really live for Christ, needed an afternoon out together for some encouragement and to be reassured that they were appreciated. (I probably could have done better than taking them to a secular movie which had no edification value at all, but we did have a good time.)

Anyway, I've always been close to the Valenti family so Luke's posting was not any kind of shocking surprise from a wayward student whose turn-around was miraculous, but it was still touching to know that I've had a positive effect on someone's memories.

An Awesome Flight of Fancy

2010-02-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

Contrary to my impressions of earlier “Pan” adaptations, this film does not say that growing up is bad; in fact, maturity is to be commended. It is not Adulthood itself that Wendy is fighting on the pirate ship, but her irrational beliefs about growing up; and that is an important distinction, even if she doesn’t notice at the time. Indeed, Wendy must grow up, for to remain a child forever is the height of selfishness.

Read the full review of the 2003 Peter Pan with Jeremy Sumpter and Jason Isaacs at Mr. Director's Reviews.

'Tis Another Friday

2010-02-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

Well, I have a lot of things going on, but nothing that is really news. Just stuff, cleaning, catching up, and so on. Plus I have a sermon to create. So enjoy your day, try not to let this dearth of news bring you down. I'll be back, I'm sure.

Workout Partner

2010-02-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

Woo-hoo, someone responded to my post on Craigslist seeking a workout partner at the Redmond Athletic Center! We're "in talks" now about getting together.

I know for a fact that one of the reasons my workouts have been so inconsistent over the past ten years as to be almost useless is that I hate working out alone, going to the gym day after day and not having anyone to even converse with, let alone a helper to spot me and push me.

His name is Josh, and right now his car is under the weather and he's getting a few things in order, but he's interested and we'll see if we click.

March Cinemusings

2010-02-17T00:00:00.000-08:00

I'm reserving the full article until the Cascades Arts & Entertainment publishes it, but here's the first paragraph for Dear John which I saw with Veronica on Monday.

***

After seeing Dear John, I posted on my Facebook page that I felt the movie was “ably told” and “reasonably entertaining.” I was promptly chewed out by a friend: “Please! This movie’s sole purpose was to make people cry. Plenty of tears but no substance.” I don’t disagree, but neither does that response negate my assessment of it.

***

And I'm giving it a C+.

Something Wicked

2010-02-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

The back cover of my soft-cover Bantam edition of Something Wicked This Way Comes has a better introduction than anything I could come up with, I’m sure: “What if someone discovers your secret dream, that one great wish you would give anything for? And what if that person suddenly makes your dream come true – before you learn the price you have to pay?”

The full book review is up at Mr. Director's Reviews. Enjoy.

Snakeoil Returns

2010-02-15T00:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Buckboard Productions performed Who Shot the Sheriff? at Coyote Ranch for Valentine's Day, and I would say the show went darn well.

As usual, I played Jim Snakeoil and had a blast with the opening monologue. He is rather a pointless character, appearing at the beginning and the end, and with only the weakest of potential ties to the sheriff's murder. But he's a lot of fun to play and usually gets some of the best laughs.

Everyone was in good form, the food was hot and ready on time, and the audience left with smiles on their faces. I am unaware of any proposals or newlyweds like last year, but that's okay.

For now, the calendar is clear of any Buckboard shows, sadly. But I will soon be too busy with She Stoops to Conquer to care.

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

As I type this, the big romantic day of the year is just beginning. Much will happen in the evening, and once it does, I'll tell you all about it.

Until then, give your sweetie a big hug and lots of chocolate and flowers, tell him or her that you love him or her, and I'll see you later.

She Stoops to Version 4.3.1

2010-02-13T00:00:00.000-08:00

Apparently a little firestorm is brewing over the proposed script of She Stoops to Conquer. One of the interested parties planning to audition has checked out a copy of the script for advance reading and has discovered that it is a significantly varied edition from the traditional version or versions in circulation.

I only recently was able to sit down and thoroughly read the edition the theater handed me, and it definitely is different. A verse and a half have been cut from the tavern song, lines are missing here and there, phrases and words have been altered. I don't know if the theater found this version as is, perhaps online somewhere, or if someone connected with the theater has "helpfully" edited it to make it more user-friendly for the 21st century. Either way, there are variant readings on every single page, only a few of which I would actually consider necessary for presenting the play to a modern audience. I may have to change a few things back as we rehearse.

Almost Fatal

2010-02-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

Last night's benefit event for NeighborImpact was ... interesting. I don't think any of the problems were any one person's fault – and none of it was Buckboard's problem at all – but many things conspired to create an evening that ran too long and left too many people unhappy.

The first problem was simply a misperception. The evening was designed around the idea of finger foods and other samplers. But somehow word started spreading that it would be a full and rather sumptuous dinner. By the time Thursday arrived, several guests showed up expecting to be completely fed. This led to their being disturbed that there was not much food, then to their partaking of the finger foods as if they were indeed consuming a full meal. It became a challenge to make sure there was food left for the people at the end of the line.

Another problem was the sheer number of people. Far more showed up than were expected, is my understanding, including many at-the-door appearances that had not called ahead. Many who did call ahead did not check in at the front door when they arrived. So the attendants taking attendance had no idea how many were actually there. (The answer: Too many.)

There were other hiccups along the way that added to the confusion, with the end result that the schedule ended up over an hour behind, many people could not see the theatrical proceedings well, and some left early because from their perspective they were underfed.

On a positive note, those who stayed were those who were enjoying the evening and had a good time. The theatrical portion did go well, though I had to skip right over one character who apparently left before her lines came up. And I had a lot of fun as Chef Geoff, and only blanked for a moment on one line. Oh, and more than a few familiar faces were there, which added to my own personal enjoyment.

So there it is. Now I turn around and prepare Who Shot the Sheriff? for Valentine's Day. That one will be easier prep since I've already played the role several times.

She Stoops to Conquer

2010-02-11T00:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I forget to cross-reference my blogs like I would like, or even to include big news when it happens. This time, in glancing back through my blog, I see I've made no reference (or if I did it was very scant) to the fact that I am directing She Stoops to Conquer at Cascades Theatrical Company this spring.

I won't gush about it now; specifically I'm bringing up the fact that auditions are at the end of this month, and anyone willing to travel to Bend, Oregon for two months of rehearsals and shows is welcome to audition. The portions of the script we will be using for auditions (the "sides") are on my theatrical notices blog. (It's not really a pleasure-reading blog, so it's not part of my sidebar here at "All Things Brian".)

Chef Geoff

2010-02-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

Last night was one of two final rehearsals before Thursday's performance of Murder on the Menu from Buckboard Productions. I'm having fun putting together my character of Chef Geoff, though finding the time to totally cement the lines in my head has been awkward. I swear the universe waits until I have something I want to do before throwing a thousand things at me that should take higher priority.

So anyway, this Thursday at the Design Center in Redmond, the fund-raiser for NeighborImpact will be a comical murder mystery with the borderline flaming queen Chef Geoff. Come on by.

Chuck!

2010-02-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

President Franklin D. Roosevelt should have said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was an only child ... eventually.

If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has never encountered a red light at an intersection. Nothing stops Chuck Norris.

Our First Guest

2010-02-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

Sunday finally arrived and I had the thrill of being on KPOV's "Big Screen / Little Screen" with David Simpson, presenting a collage of music by Danny Elfman. This is my third appearance on a KPOV program, and as usual I had a lot of fun.

We spent about an hour talking about Elfman and listening to selections which is just about the biggest Elfman-related thrill I can currently hope for, short of receiving a studio budget that would allow me to contract Elfman for a film of my own.

You can catch KPOV on 106.7 if you live in Bend, Oregon; or you can hear it streaming live (I'm told but I'm on dial-up internet) on their website at www.kpov.org. Shows are archived for one week on the site.

This short entry in no way reflects a diminished enthusiasm for the event, but as I sit here thinking about what to type, it makes decreasing sense to recap the day. I was on the radio; I had a great time. There you have it.

In 'N Out

2010-02-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

What is up with my cat? Romeo is a perfectly agile feline who knows how to jump fences, crawl under the shed, catch wild birds and bring them to us, and wake us at four in the morning to be let out.

So it boggles my mind that he will sit outside the front door meowing as we come home from an event or errands, only to be let in, walk right through the living room to the back door, and meow to be let out to eat. Sheesh.

Lunch and Dinner

2010-02-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

Friday was a bright spot in a sniffley week. At 12:30 I had lunch with David Simpson at Quizno's in Bend. We spent about an hour talking mostly about what path we want to take when we are on the air this coming Sunday.

Have I even mentioned that I'm on the air this coming Sunday? In glancing back over the past few blog entries, I see nothing about it. Oh, dear; well, then let me fill you in.

David Simpson, whom I had the pleasure of directing as a cast member of You Can't Take It With You, recently began a new radio show at our local community radio station, KPOV. The show is Called "Big Screen / Little Screen", technically with "little" and "screen" being lower-case letters, but my educational background insists that when I type show titles, the appropriate words be capitalized.

Anyway, every Sunday from noon to 2:00, David plays music, both underscoring and songs, from film and television. When he thought of having his first in-studio guest appearance, he thought of me, given my enthusiasm for film and the music that goes with it. I was honored.

So this Sunday, starting around 12:30, I will be on the air with him discussing, naturally enough, the music of Danny Elfman. "Giddy" doesn't really even begin to describe how I'm feeling about it. If you're in the area – and with KPOV that means within about a hundred yards of the broadcast tower in the south end of downtown Bend – tune in to 106.7 FM on your radio dial and listen in. If you're nowhere near that, you can still hear the show streaming live or as an archive all next week by visting www.KPOV.org and looking for the "Big Screen / Little Screen" show page.

After lunch I went to Lava Ridge Elementary School to perform my one-man memorized rendition of "Fox in Socks" by Dr. Seuss for my friend Greg Wesson. Well, the performance was for the kids in the class he is interning with; the favor was for Greg himself. With my head cold and the medication I am on to cut the increasing congestion back a little, my mind was not fully focused and I did stumble and have to repeat a line for the first time in years. I'd say my reputation is ruined but how many of those kindergartners are going to remember that moment even until the end of the school day? It was fun – and it was a reminder of why I do not work with little kids for hours on end.

Afterwards, Greg and I had a calm early dinner at Taco Bell and enjoyed the fellowship for about half an hour. Those times are nice; I kind of miss them now that I'm "grown up" and have work and a family, and what with everyone whose fellowship I enjoy either having moved away or they have jobs themselves that keep them hopping. Schedules no longer mesh with any convenience, and while I absolutely love my entire family and in no way want this to seem like I'm discontented with them, it would be nice to have the good old buddies a little more accessible.

I'm sure Veronica feels this way also. All her really good lady friends were college acquaintances, so they are scattered across the country; and any ladies here she would fellowship with are wives with needy husbands and families. Once in a while we manage to have people over, but I think it's more rare than either of us really wants. We shall have to work on that.

Listlessness

2010-02-05T00:00:00.000-08:00

Thursday was spent feeling groggy, feeling no urge to fight the groggy and get something done, and thus nothing happened. A cold, to me, is worse than so many other afflictions simply because of the way it drains any energy and resolve.

On the positive side, my nose is not so utterly stuffed that I spend all day unable to breathe. I'm certainly going through a lot of Kleenex, but at least air is passing through the nostrils.

My Failing Health

2010-02-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

This cold is so poorly timed for so many reasons. I just got my new gym membership and was determined to start doing my three-a-week workout schedule. And now this.

I can already feel it, it's one of those colds that will have me feeling at half-strength all day, and probably napping more than normal to recover that strength. Meanwhile, all gains I've made this year on my body will collapse and I'll start over again when the cold is gone. What an irritation.

The Annual Cold

2010-02-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

My annual cold is late this year. Usually it comes around November or December. But lest I was worried I would not get one at all, yesterday afternoon at the pizza parlor I felt the familiar indescribable sensation in the back of the throat. It's not a tickle, it's not a pain. It's just an abnormal sensation, negatively so, that begins all my colds. This time it did happen to be accompanied by a minor sore throat, but that just shows the virus's creativity.

This is hardly the time for a cold. I have three activities this weekend that involve my speaking, and if I am battling a stuffed nose and possibly a cough, it will not be a good thing at all. Here's hoping (and, yes, praying) that it goes away miraculously fast.

The Shadow Knows

2010-02-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

As I write this, the good folks in Pennsylvania are a few short hours away from going through their annual ceremony to note whether we will have a long or short winter based on a groundhog's shadow. And they call us Christians the weird ones. (No, no, I'm aware no one actually takes it seriously. At least I hope they don't.)

On a note worthy of a good snicker, the extremists at PETA are suggesting that maybe Phil the Groundhog should be replaced by an animatronic groundhog. Yes, that's right: Phil, the poor thing, is apparently so abused and maltreated, living in a nice warm pen with a guaranteed food supply, that his treatment warrants attention as potentially "unethical". This is the same group that sent their voices into the air bemoaning the fly that Mr. Obama killed on live television. (As an omen of how Mr. Obama would proceed to spend the year crushing the freedoms of the American people, the event is indeed worthy of bemoaning.)

So Happy Groundhog's Day, for whatever it's worth.

February's Here

2010-02-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

And just like that, January is over with. I know I did stuff, but it feels like I got so little done, especially with regards to the larger project goals for the year. Time to refocus, regroup, and sally forth into a bright new day.

Or something like that. Once more unto the breach, maybe.

Sermonizing

2010-01-31T00:00:00.000-08:00

I spent Saturday evening preparing for Sunday morning. The topic this week is the Doctrine of Sufficiency. I knew what I wanted to say, but putting it into a reasonable framework with an actual flow was the hard part.

The Doctrine of Sufficiency is probably more attacked within the church today than the Doctrine of Inspiration. So many Christians believe that the Bible is not up to the task of fully answering the questions of life and existence, despite its internal claims that it is everything we need. See, for instance, II Peter 1:3 and II Timothy 3:17. God has given us everything we need, the contents of the Bible will make us perfect (literally, complete) and fully equipped for everything God would have us do in this life.

The idea that we can glean helpful spiritual truth from other sources – some would even say we need to do so – is disgustingly prevalent. But there is no truth that Plato, Freud, or any false religion can reveal to me that isn't already in print in the Bible. Why dig through someone else's philosophical dung heap looking for one pearl when there is an inexhaustible pile of pearls sitting right next to it?

Odd Memories

2010-01-30T00:00:00.000-08:00

In working on the 2nd Street Theater tribute DVD last night, I managed to find my copy of The Odd Couple performance and was in the process of culling good shots from it when I found myself distracted by funny moment after funny moment. I laughed out loud at several points, not because my direction was anything spectacular, but because a great cast took my framework of a vision and enhanced it until all the characters and chemistry were positively hilarious.

It was a happy memory. I wish I had the time and venues to direct more often. Alas, 2nd Street is closed as a production house and I don't have the money to be my own producer there; and CTC already has a sizable stable of directors they pick from. I'm honored to be there this year, but with my tastes and convictions, it's not often that they would have something I could and would direct. (Which was also true of 2nd Street; neither theater specializes in good, clean fun for us prudes.)

Anyway, I had a good laugh. I've had a good laugh every time I've directed, and I'm looking forward to more good laughs as She Stoops to Conquer starts up.

Bucking the Trend

2010-01-29T00:00:00.000-08:00

Well, since I had two rehearsals for them this week, I'll make sure my vast reading audience knows about Buckboard Productions, soon to be Buckboard Murder Mysteries and canceling their LLC status thanks to the voters of Oregon who foolishly enacted some increased taxes on businesses.

Anyway, we have two shows coming up, on February 11 and February 14, both open to the public and both starring a really great actor whom you all might know. Check out the Buckboard website for more information.

More Fresh Air

2010-01-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

This is not specifically a political blog, but the past week or so has had some interesting (and exhilarating) articles. I'll try to get back to more neutral territory for everyone's reading pleasure soon. (Whatever.)

***

Democrats Pull Back on Health Care Bill

by Ricardo Alonso-Zaldivar, Associated Press Writer

Democrats retreated Tuesday from a quick push to pass President Barack Obama's health care overhaul, lacking a workable strategy to salvage the sweeping legislation that has consumed Congress for more than a year.

"There is no rush," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., said after a meeting of Senate Democrats. His comments came as two centrists said they would oppose the plan Democratic leaders were considering to reconcile differences between the House and Senate bills and put comprehensive legislation on Obama's desk.

A week after the loss of a Massachusetts Senate seat – their 60th vote – cost Democrats undisputed control of the congressional agenda, leaders are still casting about for a way forward. Given the congressional schedule, it could be weeks – late February at the earliest – before they act.

"There are no easy choices," acknowledged House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, D-Md, insisting that the goal remains the same: to pass far-reaching legislation that would expand coverage, reduce costs and improve quality.

"I think right now it's a time-out and the leadership is re-evaluating," said Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif. "They've asked us to keep our powder dry."

"I think effectively we're going to set health care reform aside," said independent Sen. Joe Lieberman of Connecticut. "I don't think they're ready to move now because there's no clear path forward."

Reid said he'll keep talking with House Democrats and White House officials, noting that the Senate-passed bill is good for the year.

Two centrist senators threw up a new roadblock. Sens. Evan Bayh, D-Ind., and Blanche Lincoln, D-Ark. – both face re-election this year in Republican-leaning states – said they would oppose using a special budget-related procedure to go around Republican opponents in the Senate, a calculated risk sure to inflame critics on the political right.

Even as Bayh and Lincoln made their concerns known, House Democratic leaders were trying to get their rank and file to accept a modified version of the Senate bill.

Rep. Jim Clyburn of South Carolina, the No. 3 Democrat, told reporters he believes the House could pass the Senate bill if lawmakers get rid of special Medicaid deals for Louisiana and Nebraska and dial back a tax on high-cost insurance plans opposed by labor unions.

But House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., said it "depends what the fixes are."

Lawmakers hope Obama will help them find their way when the president delivers his State of the Union address Wednesday. Obama is unlikely to delve into the strategy for passing a health care bill, Hoyer said, but he is expected to stress the importance of getting comprehensive legislation along the lines of what the House and Senate already passed.

Democrats now have four options, Hoyer said: No bill, a scaled-back measure designed to attract some Republican support, the House passing the Senate bill, or the House passing the Senate bill with both chambers making changes to bridge their differences.

Opposition to the health care remake in Washington helped spark the Massachusetts revolt, Democrats acknowledge. Obama called the monthslong debate on Capitol Hill "an ugly process."

"It looks like there are a bunch of back-room deals," the president said in an interview with ABC News.

Of the four options that Hoyer outlined, only one has been ruled out. Pelosi said last week she does not have the votes to pass the Senate bill without any changes.

Democratic leaders are coalescing around the idea of the House passing the Senate bill, with both chambers agreeing to follow-up legislation that would settle major differences.

The strategy calls for the Senate to use a budget-related procedure – reconciliation – that requires only 51 votes to advance. Even so, leaders may not be able to round up the votes.

"My concern is that if reconciliation is used, that will really destroy any prospects for bipartisan cooperation on anything else for the remainder of this year," Bayh said. "That would be a regrettable state of affairs, something I think the American public would not react well to."

"I will not accept any last-minute efforts to force changes to health insurance reform through budget reconciliation," Lincoln said in a statement.

***

Associated Press writers Charles Babington, Donna Cassata, Alan Fram and Erica Werner contributed to this report.

Twiddling Thumbs

2010-01-27T00:00:00.000-08:00

There's not much to say about Tuesday, and as I write this Wednesday hasn't happened yet. Chalk this one up as another one of those strained and desperate attempts to fulfill my daily blog requirement.

It happens.

Bounce the Pecs!

2010-01-26T00:00:00.000-08:00

I went to the gym yesterday. It was the first time in months. And it was a new gym. Well, it's my old gym, the one I went to before the household budget crisis prompted me to hunt down a less-expensive gym, namely Solid Rock Fitness. Now Solid Rock Fitness has closed, sadly, and I've gone back to my old gym which is now my new gym under a new name, namely Redmond Athletic Center.

Anyway, yesterday I did the most basic little chest workout: Three sets of dumbbell flies, and three sets of bench press. And they were fairly light weights, mostly because I didn't want to damage anything after so many weeks of less-than-strenuous muscle activity. And today it feels like I totally rocked my chest yesterday. I knew I would be sore, but this is more than I bargained for.

But by this time next year, watch out. The Pecs Will Rise!

Week Four

2010-01-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

Nothing earth-shattering lies before me this week. This does not mean it's a bad week, but I don't have "big" plans.

I shall finally finish cleaning the office, it looks like. Then I can conquer the 2nd Street video and regroup on the Redmond Area Parks & Rec Department project, maybe even begin the Buckboard Productions script I've been hired to write. I will also squeeze in there the music for Mammon and the Archer, and might even be able to finish the DVD for that if I'm really dedicated.

Tonight I meet a young man in Bend who is preparing for a bodybuilding competition in May and is interested in creating a DVD about his adventure. This should be interesting. Nothing like filming some guy working out and then checking himself out in a mirror.

Oh, and I have a monthly resolution of one Family Day a month. It looks like that will have to be this Saturday or sooner if it's going to happen at all.

Three Weeks

2010-01-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

All right, three full weeks have passed since the new year began. I'm doing relatively well with my daily resolutions, but my weekly ones need to get in gear soon. I haven't done any memory verses, I've only done a half-finished job of washing the dishes, I haven't done any of my own laundry, and I haven't extended hospitality to anyone.

Week Four, here we come. Who wants dinner at our house?

More Norris

2010-01-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

Chuck Norris can mix oil and vinegar – permanently.

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

You win some, you lose some. Chuck Norris wins all.

Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can never be surprised. Ever.

There is safety in numbers, but no number can protect you from the wrath of Chuck Norris.

Slowing the Juggernaut!

2010-01-22T00:00:00.000-08:00

A breath of fresh air.

***

Obama Health Plan in Doubt as Dems Reject Fast Fix

by Charles Babington, Associated Press Writer

Though reeling from a political body blow, House Democrats rejected the quickest fix to their health care dilemma Thursday and signaled that any agreement on President Barack Obama's signature issue will come slowly, if at all.

Democrats weighed a handful of difficult options as they continued to absorb Republican Scott Brown's election to the Massachusetts Senate seat long held by Edward M. Kennedy. Several said Obama must forcefully help them find a way to avoid the humiliation of enacting no bill, and they urged him to do so quickly, to put the painful process behind them.

House leaders said they could not pass a Senate-approved bill, standing by itself, because of objections from liberals and moderates alike. Such a move could have settled the matter, because it would not have required further Senate action. Brown's stunning victory restored the GOP's power to block bills with Senate filibusters.

Democratic leaders weighed two main options, both problematic. The first would require congressional Democrats to muscle their way past stiff GOP objections despite warning signs from Massachusetts voters and worries about next November's elections.

The other would pare down the original health care legislation in hopes of gaining some Republican support. But the compromise process is more difficult than many lawmakers suggest.

Democrats' hopes of settling on a strategy by the weekend seemed to fade, as lawmakers struggled to comprehend the drawbacks of every option.

"We have to get a bill passed," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., because her party would have no excuse for failing to revamp health care when it controls Congress and the White House.

Some lawmakers said it will take time for congressional Democrats, who huddled repeatedly Thursday, to realize how limited their options are. "People are at various levels of the seven stages of grief," said Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-N.Y.

The first chief option would require House Democrats to approve the Senate-passed bill along with a guarantee that the Senate would make several simultaneous changes to health law desired by the House. Senate Democrats presumably would do so with a tactic called "budget reconciliation." It requires only a simple-majority vote for certain budget-related matters, but it cannot be used for every issue. Both parties have used the tactic at times.

When Brown is sworn in, Democrats will control 59 of the Senate's 100 seats. They need 60 to block GOP filibusters.

The second option calls for drafting a new, compromise bill more palatable to moderates, including some Republicans. But numerous officials said it's far easier said than done.

For instance, a widely popular goal is to bar health insurers from refusing coverage to people already suffering medical problems. But without requiring most people to buy coverage, millions might wait until they have a serious problem before buying a policy, driving coverage costs to unsustainable levels.

Moreover, "individual mandates" to buy insurance would almost certainly require government subsidies for low-income people. And that in turn would require new government revenues, such as taxes.

Many of these interconnected features drew strong objections, especially from Republicans, when the House and Senate passed competing versions of health care revisions last month.

Pelosi cited the dilemma Thursday.

"I don't think anybody disagrees with 'Let's pass the popular part of the bill,'" she told reporters. "But some of the popular parts of the bill is the engine that drives some of the rest of it," which is far less popular, she said.

Outside groups were more blunt.

"You can't do it," said Ron Pollack of the liberal-leaning Families USA. Enacting popular "insurance reforms" won't work without the more controversial and expensive steps of expanding coverage to the uninsured, he said.

Some lawmakers talked of placing partial limits on insurance companies' ability to deny coverage to those with pre-existing medical conditions. Companies might be required to cover sick children, or to keep covering customers who become sick and failed to disclose every detail of their medical histories when first buying their policies.

Such compromises could leave Obama well short of the universal coverage he touted during his 2008 campaign.

House Democrats cite many objections to the Senate-passed bill, which make them wary of adopting it without some type of ironclad guarantee of improvements by the newly configured Senate.

But budget reconciliation is one of Congress's most complex and controversial exercises, and it's not clear how many House objections can be remedied with the process.

A widely criticized feature of the Senate bill made special Medicaid concessions to Nebraska, demanded by Democratic Sen. Ben Nelson. Senators promised to expand the help to all 50 states, but Brown's election cut that negotiation process short.

Congressional budget referees said Thursday it would cost $35 billion over 10 years to extend the so-called "Cornhusker Kickback" to every state.

Some Democrats said Obama must lead his dispirited party to a resolution.

"He has got to bring the Senate and the House together," said Rep. Elijah Cummings, D-Md. "He has got to help all of us pave a way to get it done."

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said Obama thinks the best path is "giving this some time, by letting the dust settle, if you will, and looking for the best path forward." He said Obama does not believe a major health care revision is dead.

Asked what is next for the legislation, Sen. Debbie Stabenow, D-Mich., shaped her hand like a gun and pointed to her head. "We're looking to see what there's support to do," she said.

***

Associated Press writers Ricardo Alonso-Zaldivar, Alan Fram and Erica Werner contributed to this report.

Brown Wins Massachusetts

2010-01-21T00:00:00.000-08:00

I realize my hope is not in men or their governments, but in God. It is, however, nice to watch evil politicians with duplicitous agendas squirming for the moment.

***

GOP'S Brown Wins Mass. Senate Seat in Epic Upset

by Glen Johnson and Liz Sidoti, Associated Press Writers

In an epic upset in liberal Massachusetts, Republican Scott Brown rode a wave of voter anger to win the U.S. Senate seat held by the late Edward M. Kennedy for nearly half a century, leaving President Barack Obama's health care overhaul in doubt and marring the end of his first year in office.

The loss by the once-favored Democrat Martha Coakley in the Democratic stronghold was a stunning embarrassment for the White House after Obama rushed to Boston on Sunday to try to save the foundering candidate. Her defeat on Tuesday signaled big political problems for the president's party this fall when House, Senate and gubernatorial candidates are on the ballot nationwide.

"I have no interest in sugarcoating what happened in Massachusetts," said Sen. Robert Menendez, the head of the Senate Democrats' campaign committee. "There is a lot of anxiety in the country right now. Americans are understandably impatient."

Brown will become the 41st Republican in the 100-member Senate, which could allow the GOP to block the president's health care legislation and the rest of his agenda. Democrats needed Coakley to win for a 60th vote to thwart Republican filibusters.

The Republican will finish Kennedy's unexpired term, facing re-election in 2012.

Brown led by 52 per cent to 47 percent with all but 3 percent of precincts counted.

One day shy of the first anniversary of Obama's swearing-in, the election played out amid a backdrop of animosity and resentment from voters over persistently high unemployment, Wall Street bailouts, exploding federal budget deficits and partisan wrangling over health care.

For weeks considered a long shot, Brown seized on voter discontent to overtake Coakley in the campaign's final stretch. His candidacy energized Republicans, including backers of the "tea party" protest movement, while attracting disappointed Democrats and independents uneasy with where they felt the nation was heading.

A cornerstone of Brown's campaign was his promise to vote against the health care plan.

Though the president wasn't on the ballot, he was on many voters' minds.

"I voted for Obama because I wanted change. ... I thought he'd bring it to us, but I just don't like the direction that he's heading," said John Triolo, 38, a registered independent who voted in Fitchburg.

He said his frustrations, including what he considered the too-quick pace of health care legislation, led him to vote for Brown.

Coakley called Brown conceding the race, and Obama talked to both Brown and Coakley, congratulating them on the race.

The Democrat said the president told her: "We can't win them all."

Massachusetts Secretary of State William Galvin said he would notify the U.S. Senate on Wednesday that Brown had been elected. Originally, he had said he might take over two weeks to certify the results of the special election, giving Democrats a window in which to try to rush through final passage of Obama's health care plan.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., promised to seat Brown "as soon as the proper paperwork has been received."

Brown will be the first Republican senator from Massachusetts in 30 years.

Even before the first results were announced, administration officials were privately accusing Coakley of a poorly run campaign and playing down the notion that Obama or a toxic political landscape had much to do with the outcome.

Coakley's supporters, in turn, blamed that very environment, saying her lead dropped significantly after the Senate passed health care reform shortly before Christmas and after the Christmas Day attempted airliner bombing that Obama himself said showed a failure of his administration.

Days before the polls closed, Democrats were fingerpointing and laying blame.

Rep. Chris Van Hollen of Maryland, head of the House Democrats' campaign effort, said Coakley's loss won't deter his colleagues from continuing to blame the previous administration.

"President George W. Bush and House Republicans drove our economy into a ditch and tried to run away from the accident," he said. "President Obama and congressional Democrats have been focused repairing the damage to our economy."

At Boston's Park Plaza Hotel, giddy Republicans cheered, chanted "USA" and waved the "tea party" version of the American flag.

Even before Brown won, the grass-roots network fueled by antiestablishment frustrations, sought credit for the victory, much like the liberal MoveOn.org did in the 2006 midterm elections when Democrats rose to power.

GOP chairman Michael Steele said Brown's "message of lower taxes, smaller government and fiscal responsibility clearly resonated with independent-minded voters in Massachusetts who were looking for a solution to decades of failed Democrat leadership."

Wall Street watched the election closely. The Dow Jones industrial average rose 116 points, and analysts attributed the increase to hopes the election would make it harder for Obama to make his changes to health care. That eased investor concerns that profits at companies such as insurers and drug makers would suffer.

Across Massachusetts, voters who had been bombarded with phone calls and dizzied with nonstop campaign commercials for Coakley and Brown gave a fitting turnout despite intermittent snow and rain statewide.

Galvin, who discounted sporadic reports of voter irregularities throughout the day, predicted turnout ranging from 1.6 million to 2.2 million, 40 percent to 55 percent of registered voters. The Dec. 8 primary had a scant turnout of about 20 percent.

Voters considered national issues including health care and the federal budget deficits.

Fears about spending drove Karla Bunch, 49, to vote for Brown. "It's time for the country, for the taxpayers, to take back their money," she said. And Elizabeth Reddin, 65, voted for Brown because she said she was turned off by the Democrat's negative advertisements, saying: "The Coakley stuff was disgusting."

***

Associated Press writers Beth Fouhy, Bob Salsberg, Steve LeBlanc, Karen Testa, Kevin Vineys and Stephanie Reitz also contributed to this report.

Nevermore?

2010-01-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

She flew from Chicago to see him??

***

Mysterious Visitor Misses Poe's Birthday

by Joseph White, Associated Press Writer

Is this tradition "nevermore"?

A mysterious visitor who left roses and cognac at the grave of Edgar Allan Poe each year on the writer's birthday failed to show early Tuesday, breaking with a ritual that began more than 60 years ago.

"I'm confused, befuddled," said Jeff Jerome, curator of the Poe House and Museum. "I don't know what's going on."

The tradition dates back to at least 1949, according to newspaper accounts from the era, Jerome said. Since then, an unidentified person has come every Jan. 19 to leave three roses and a half-bottle of cognac at Poe's grave in a church cemetery in downtown Baltimore.

The event has become a pilgrimage for die-hard Poe fans, some of whom travel hundreds of miles. About three dozen stood huddled in blankets during the overnight cold Tuesday, peering through the churchyard's iron gates hoping to catch a glimpse of the figure known only as the "Poe toaster."

At 5:30 a.m., Jerome emerged from inside the church, where he and a select group of Poe enthusiasts keep watch over the graveyard, and announced to the crowd that the visitor never arrived. He allowed an Associated Press reporter inside the gates to view both of Poe's grave sites, the original one and a newer site where the body was moved in 1875. There was no sign of roses or cognac at either tombstone.

Jerome said the Poe toaster has always arrived before 5:30 a.m. There was still a chance the visit could occur later in the day, but Jerome said he doubted the person would risk a public unveiling by performing the task in daylight, when other visitors could be there.

"I'm very disappointed, to the point where I want to cry," said Cynthia Pelayo, 29, who had stood riveted to her prime viewing spot at the gate for about six hours. "I flew in from Chicago to see him. I'm just really sad. I hope that he's OK."

Pelayo and Poe fans from as far as Texas and Massachusetts had passed the overnight hours reading aloud from Poe's works, including the poem "The Raven", with its haunting repetition of the word "nevermore." Soon they were speculating, along with Jerome, about what might have caused the visitor not to appear.

"You've got so many possibilities," said Jerome, who has attended the ritual every year since 1977. "The guy had the flu, accident, too many people."

Tuesday marked the 201st anniversary of Poe's birth, and Jerome speculated that perhaps the visitor considered last year's bicentennial an appropriate stopping point.

"People will be asking me, 'Why do you think he stopped?'" Jerome said. "Or did he stop? We don't know if he stopped. He just didn't come this year."

There have also been recent controversies over which city should be regarded as Poe's rightful home, with some making the case that the remains perhaps should be moved to Richmond, Va., Philadelphia or Boston, cities with their own Poe legacies.

Jerome said he thinks it's unlikely the dispute is connected to the Poe toaster's no-show. If anything, Jerome felt the visitor might have weighed in on the controversy by leaving a note with the roses and cognac, as has been done in some previous years.

One such note was left in 1993, when the visitor wrote: "The torch will be passed." Years later, another note indicated the man had died in 1998 and had handed the tradition to his two sons.

Sam Porpora, a former historian at Westminster Presbyterian Church, where Poe is buried, claimed in 2007 that he was the original Poe toaster and that he had came up with the idea in the 1970s as a publicity stunt. Jerome disputed Porpora's claims by citing a 1950 article in The (Baltimore) Evening Sun that referred to the annual tribute.

Poe was the American literary master of the macabre, noted for poems and short stories including "The Tell-Tale Hear"t, "The Fall of the House of Usher" and "The Pit and the Pendulum". He is also credited with writing the first modern detective story, "The Murders in the Rue Morgue," which appeared in 1841.

He died Oct. 7, 1849, in Baltimore at the age of 40 after collapsing in a tavern.

As for the fate of his annual visitor? That's a new mystery.

Jerome said he will continue the vigil for at least the next two or three years, in case the visits resume.

"So, for me," he said, "it's not over with."

Tuesday, Tuesday?

2010-01-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

Monday was nothing worth blogging about. Tuesday looks about the same so far. This is life on a daily blog, my friends. Check back later.

Monday, Monday

2010-01-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

And so begins another week. The new year is already having a certain monotony fall upon it. I try to clean the office, but something comes up. The office gets messier while it waits for me. I clean some dishes to help my wife out. I lull Abigail to sleep. I think about a hundred things that need to get done.

Okay, that reads really depressingly, but that's not the reality. A mild case of frustration, maybe, but I love bringing a smile to my wife's face when she sees me doing dishes. I love having Abigail find complete contentment on my shoulder. And I enjoy the work that I do. I just need to conquer it all, get things in their proper places, allot my time better each day, and so on.

This week I have no seriously pressing obligations, so maybe I will finally get the office clean. I can say that without laughing because I'm not actually looking at my filing boxes at the moment.

Spam!

2010-01-17T00:00:00.000-08:00

So who got ahold of my Cinemusing blog and feels it necessary to send spam once a week or so? Do they really think I or my readers are interested in seeing Miley Cyrus nude or in buying "enhancement" products? Sheesh.

It is people like that who inspired me to turn on the Comment Approval requirement on all my blogs.

Old News

2010-01-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

I love how the world tries to cover centuries of deliberate ignorance (falsely called "Enlightment") by making old news a "big discovery". We Christians have been claiming exactly what their research "discovered" for the past two millennia.

***

Bible Possibly Written Centuries Earlier

by Clara Moskowitz, LiveScience Staff Writer

Fri., Jan 15, 9:40 am ET

Scientists have discovered the earliest known Hebrew writing – an inscription dating from the 10th century B.C., during the period of King David's reign.

The breakthrough could mean that portions of the Bible were written centuries earlier than previously thought. (The Bible's Old Testament is thought to have been first written down in an ancient form of Hebrew.)

Until now, many scholars have held that the Hebrew Bible originated in the 6th century B.C., because Hebrew writing was thought to stretch back no further. But the newly deciphered Hebrew text is about four centuries older, scientists announced this month.

"It indicates that the Kingdom of Israel already existed in the 10th century BCE and that at least some of the biblical texts were written hundreds of years before the dates presented in current research," said Gershon Galil, a professor of Biblical Studies at the University of Haifa in Israel, who deciphered the ancient text.

BCE stands for "before common era," and is equivalent to B.C., or before Christ.

The writing was discovered more than a year ago on a pottery shard dug up during excavations at Khirbet Qeiyafa, near Israel's Elah valley. The excavations were carried out by archaeologist Yosef Garfinkel of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. At first, scientists could not tell if the writing was Hebrew or some other local language.

Finally, Galil was able to decipher the text. He identified words particular to the Hebrew language and content specific to Hebrew culture to prove that the writing was, in fact, Hebrew.

"It uses verbs that were characteristic of Hebrew, such as asah ('did') and avad ('worked'), which were rarely used in other regional languages," Galil said. "Particular words that appear in the text, such as almanah ('widow') are specific to Hebrew and are written differently in other local languages."

The ancient text is written in ink on a trapezoid-shaped piece of pottery about 6 inches by 6.5 inches (15 cm by 16.5 cm). It appears to be a social statement about how people should treat slaves, widows and orphans. In English, it reads (by numbered line):

1' you shall not do [it], but worship the [Lord].
2' Judge the sla[ve] and the wid[ow] / Judge the orph[an]
3' [and] the stranger. [Pl]ead for the infant / plead for the po[or and]
4' the widow. Rehabilitate [the poor] at the hands of the king.
5' Protect the po[or and] the slave / [supp]ort the stranger.

The content, which has some missing letters, is similar to some Biblical scriptures, such as Isaiah 1:17, Psalms 72:3, and Exodus 23:3, but does not appear to be copied from any Biblical text.

A Sudden Pile

2010-01-15T00:00:00.000-08:00

Life comes in spurts. Like this week. Monday and Tuesday, busy. Wednesday, nothing. (While that was my own doing, it's still in line with my point.) Thursday, a call from Keith Rinne and a sudden printing job, while loading the Madison Mills footage, resulting in a day where I didn't have a spare moment.

If I could find a way to evenly spread things out, it would be so much better. Or to somehow get paid for doing nothing at all. That would be awesome.

These Days Happen

2010-01-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

Well, I pretty much wasted Wednesday, plain and simple. Not that absolutely nothing got done, but if I were taken to court and forced to defend my productivity and purpose on this planet, Wednesday would not have provided much evidence.

Life is too short to waste days in this way. I need to avoid that kind of day in the future.

At the College Library

2010-01-13T00:00:00.000-08:00

Tuesday morning was spent at the library of the Central Oregon Community College. An attempt to get three answers out of Madison for a three-minute video ended up, for various reasons, taking three hours. Ah, the joys of video production!

The afternoon was spent recuperating.

Meeting Madison

2010-01-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

Monday was nothing phenomenal. The morning involved a short meeting with Dave White of the Deschutes County 4-H office, and a girl named Madison Mills. She is the nominee for a national 4-H award, but part of the application process includes a video of her answering some interview questions. Dave has asked me to make the video, which I will be glad to do.

Central Oregon Time

2010-01-11T00:00:00.000-08:00

Last night the church had its monthly Song Service, and when we arrived, there were four of us. Now, I'm braced for some people to stop coming since Pastor Pat resigned, but I didn't expect it to just fall off into nothing so quickly.

Well, silly me, it was just an extreme case of Central Oregon Time. About ten minutes after the normal start time of 6:30, we had a good crowd of probably twenty people. It's an interesting phenomenon, this tiny little time zone all by itself in the middle of Pacific Standard Time. And it's not only map, but those who have lived here for years are aware of it and plan their lives accordingly.

The precise boundaries are a little fuzzy. I know it does not reach as far southwest as Ashland, because their Shakespeare Festival starts promptly. But it definitely covers Redmond, Bend, Prineville, Sisters, Lapine, and Madras.

Other states have these little anomalous time zones as well. Trumbull had it, in Connecticut. There the time zone was very specific: Calvary Standard Time, and it seemed to apply primarily to regular attendees of Calvary Evangelical Free Church. Hmm, perhaps it's a time zone that only affects religious folk.

Cascade Publications

2010-01-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

I'm afraid I have very little news today. Most of my afternoon was spent firing off the review of The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus to my editor over at Cascade Publications.

I have the privilege of being paid once a month to watch a movie and write about it. It's not a whopping paycheck – after gas, theater ticket, and a Slushee, I take home about $20 – but it's still a nice little perk to do something I enjoy once a month and come away with a few bucks for doing so.

Now if I can just corner the Bulletin market. But they buy Roger Ebert's syndicated articles. So Ebert needs to die. Hmm. Ebert needs to ...

Double Date Night

2010-01-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

Well, Veronica and I had a delightful time last night. What began as merely a delirious opportunity to see Terry Gilliam's latest movie evolved by Friday night into dinner with Greg Wesson at the Outback Steakhouse. Via e-mail he asked if friends were welcome, and I said certainly. Little did I know the friend would be a lovely young lady. Not that I will presume anything at all; I would hate to embarrass either or both. The point is we ended up on a casual double date.

Then the four of us ended up at the theater, and apart from the projector not being perfectly leveled, which was only obvious if text was on the screen showing the slight variance between the tilt of the projector and the leveled edge of the screen itself, we all had a wonderful time. A weird time, to be sure; Gilliam does not really deal in the traditional "popcorn" films. But it was a good time.

Many thanks to Greg, who took the whole tab on himself. I love having generous friends, and hope to be in a financial situation to return the favor soon.

I will have a full review of The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus after the Cascades Arts & Entertainment magazine gets first rights to it in February.

Another Victim of the Economy

2010-01-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

My gym closed!

It has been over a month since I was able to attend the gym, and Wednesday I got my gym bag packed and right after the board meeting for the church I headed over to Solid Rock Fitness. But the parking lot was empty and all the lights were off.

A call to Julia York, who also went there, confirmed that they did close. This would explain why I did not see a bill on my bank account for January. Now I have to find another gym. And I also need to start using it once I find it.

Pastor Brian?

2010-01-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

The church board, which at this point is Matt Borlen and myself, met yesterday with Lee Bailey, the AMF missionary for the Central Oregon area, to discuss finding a pastor for Alfalfa Community Church. The short version is that I will be the speaker for any Sunday that we are not hosting a candidate.

Some have wondered aloud if I would consider being the pastor, and the answer is no. I won't detail the reasons, but in addition to living 25 miles from the community the church was designed to serve, I think there are certain spiritual qualities a pastor should have before even assuming the position, and I don't have them.

I'm fine with speaking, even speaking often. I like talking about the Bible, and there are some subjects I really really enjoy learning more about and sharing with the church. (I'm finding the whole doctrine of Creation and the modern battle with evolution to be increasingly fascinating, for instance.) But a full-time pastor I am not and do not believe I should be.

Beyond Your Imaginarium

2010-01-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

From Cinemusing:

Yes! It's official! Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is coming to Bend! It opened to limited release in the United States on Christmas Day, and what news I had of how (or if) it would make its way around the rest of the country was disturbing. But I just checked the movie schedule for my area on Yahoo and it does indeed open this Friday!

So, basically, I'm stoked.

Sniglets

2010-01-05T00:00:00.000-08:00

Hey, whatever happened to Sniglets? "Words that should be in the dictionary but aren't." Anyone else remember those? My brother and I used to have two full books of them; I wonder where they are.

Words like:

* Airpuntz - those little kicks you give your luggage instead of just picking it up and moving it as you head to the ticket counter

* Eleceleration - the belief that punching the elevator button repeatedly will make it arrive faster.

* Wonderacide - the murder of a piece of white bread with cold butter that won't spread.

* Xypskzu - any word formed when pressing too many keys on a manual typewriter at once.

Chuck Norris

2010-01-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

My wife got me a Page-a-Day calendar of Chuck Norris lines, those jokes that have arisen (for whatever reason) around the martial arts actor. I had heard the jokes very sparsely for a little while, but it wasn't until working at Altrec last year that Bob Gilbert really introduced me to this bizarre phenomenon.

Anyway, here's the few the calendar has had so far:

* Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday is just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you.

* One man's loss is another man's gain. Most of the time, that second man is Chuck Norris.

* Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster take pictures of Chuck Norris.

The 2010 Resolutions

2010-01-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

So I made all those resolutions on my 35th birthday, but the allure of a new calendar year is stronger than the allure of a halfway point. Most of those resolutions fell apart a few days after making them.

Thus it is time to reinstate the resolutions. Many of them are identical to the ones I made ninety days ago, so I will not reprint all of the descriptive paragraphs here unless they are totally new ones for the year.

My Personal Relationship to God:
1. Daily Bible Study
2. Daily Personal Prayer
3. Weekly Memory Verse
4. Monthly Sermon Preparation
5. Monthly Offering
6. Read Through the Bible in a Year

My Role as Spiritual Head of the Family:
7. Daily Devotion Time

Showing Love to My Family:
8. Monthly Family Day
9. Weekly Arthur Time
10. Weekly Dish-Washing
11. Weekly Personal Laundry

My Household Stewardship:
12. Monthly Budget
* This category has one or two that are best not listed in public. No, don't even try to guess.

My Outreach to Others:
15. Daily Correspondence
16. Weekly Act of Hospitality

My Personal Improvement:
17. Daily Exercise
18. Reading 24 Books a Year

Cinematic/Artistic Pursuits:
19. Two Feature Screenplays
20. Three Short Films
21. Two Music Compositions

What War?

2010-01-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

War? What War?

by Charles Krauthammer

WASHINGTON: Janet Napolitano – former Arizona governor, now overmatched secretary of homeland security – will forever be remembered for having said of the attempt to bring down an airliner over Detroit: "The system worked." The attacker's concerned father had warned U.S. authorities about his son's jihadist tendencies. The would-be bomber paid cash and checked no luggage on a transoceanic flight. He was nonetheless allowed to fly, and would have killed 288 people in the air alone, save for a faulty detonator and quick actions by a few passengers.

Heck of a job, Brownie.

The reason the country is uneasy about the Obama administration's response to this attack is a distinct sense of not just incompetence but incomprehension. From the very beginning, President Obama has relentlessly tried to downplay and deny the nature of the terrorist threat we continue to face. Napolitano renames terrorism "man-caused disasters." Obama goes abroad and pledges to cleanse America of its post-9/11 counterterrorist sins. Hence, Guantanamo will close, CIA interrogators will face a special prosecutor, and Khalid Sheik Mohammed will bask in a civilian trial in New York – a trifecta of political correctness and image management.

And just to make sure even the dimmest understand, Obama banishes the term "war on terror." It's over – that is, if it ever existed.

Obama may have declared the war over. Unfortunately al-Qaeda has not. Which gives new meaning to the term "asymmetric warfare."

And produces linguistic – and logical – oddities that littered Obama's public pronouncements following the Christmas Day attack. In his first statement, Obama referred to Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab as "an isolated extremist." This is the same president who, after the Ford Hood shooting, warned us "against jumping to conclusions" – code for daring to associate Nidal Hasan's mass murder with his Islamist ideology. Yet, with Abdulmutallab, Obama jumped immediately to the conclusion, against all existing evidence, that the bomber acted alone.

More jarring still were Obama's references to the terrorist as a "suspect" who "allegedly tried to ignite an explosive device." You can hear the echo of FDR: "Yesterday, December 7, 1941 – a date which will live in infamy – Japanese naval and air force suspects allegedly bombed Pearl Harbor."

Obama reassured the nation that this "suspect" had been charged. Reassurance? The president should be saying: We have captured an enemy combatant – an illegal combatant under the laws of war: no uniform, direct attack on civilians – and now to prevent future attacks, he is being interrogated regarding information he may have about al-Qaeda in Yemen.

Instead, Abdulmutallab is dispatched to some Detroit-area jail and immediately lawyered up. At which point – surprise! – he stops talking.

This absurdity renders hollow Obama's declaration that "we will not rest until we find all who were involved." Once we've given Abdulmutallab the right to remain silent, we have gratuitously forfeited our right to find out from him precisely who else was involved, namely those who trained, instructed, armed and sent him.

This is all quite mad even in Obama's terms. He sends 30,000 troops to fight terror overseas, yet if any terrorists come to attack us here, they are magically transformed from enemy into defendant.

The logic is perverse. If we find Abdulmutallab in an al-Qaeda training camp in Yemen, where he is merely preparing for a terror attack, we snuff him out with a Predator – no judge, no jury, no qualms. But if we catch him in the United States in the very act of mass murder, he instantly acquires protection not just from execution by drone but even from interrogation.

The president said that this incident highlights "the nature of those who threaten our homeland." But the president is constantly denying the nature of those who threaten our homeland. On Tuesday, he referred five times to Abdulmutallab (and his terrorist ilk) as "extremist(s)."

A man who shoots abortion doctors is an extremist. An eco-fanatic who torches logging sites is an extremist. Abdulmutallab is not one of these. He is a jihadist. And unlike the guys who shoot abortion doctors, jihadists have cells all over the world; they blow up trains in London, nightclubs in Bali and airplanes over Detroit (if they can); and are openly pledged to war on America.

Any government can through laxity let someone slip through the cracks. But a government that refuses to admit that we are at war, indeed, refuses even to name the enemy – jihadist is a word banished from the Obama lexicon – turns laxity into a governing philosophy.

***

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